A man is blind date, because he is poor at home and still single at the age of 30. A friend introduces a girl to him. She is very satisfied with him.
Back home, the mother asked, "son, what about that girl?"
He said, "yes, it's a little fat."
Mom listened, said sincere words and earnest wishes: "son, don't pick on, in terms of our condition, her losing weight is sooner or later.” The man has a moment of confidence...
一男子相亲，由于家里穷，30岁还是单身，一朋友给他介绍了一个，老妈陪着他去看了挺满意的。
回到家，老妈问:“儿子，那姑娘怎么样？”他说:“还可以，就是有点胖了。”老妈听了，语重心长的说道:“儿子，别挑了，就咱家这条件，饿瘦她是迟早的事。” 男子瞬间有了信心 ……
Wife: my husband, I want to eat apples, give me a wash
Husband: I'm not going!
Wife: you don't want to listen to my words?
Husband: I'm not vocie control!
The wife snapped and the husband went well.
The wife laughs: pinhead, you are the touch screen!
老婆:老公，我要吃苹果，给我洗一个
老公：我不去！
老婆：你敢不听老娘的话？
老公：我又不是声控的！
老婆啪一巴掌，老公乖乖地去了。
老婆大笑：小样，原来是触屏的！
That night, in front of drunk driving, I just drink wine, and knew not to go this road, the traffic police from getting closer, heart chug jump, palm full of sweat, want to escape, but is in front of the police, run can not run, it's my turn, I was trembling lips that wine measuring device had a blow to the machine crazy over, thinking that this tweet, hide it......
The police roared at me, quickly rolled, and walked along with the fun! Mama! Drink too much, forget to drive!
昨晚好险，前面查酒驾，我刚喝完酒出来，早知道不走这条道了，距离交警越来越近了，心脏突突的跳，手心里全是汗，想要逃跑，但前面都是警察，跑也跑不了，轮到我了，我颤抖着张开嘴，对着测酒器吹了一口，机器疯狂的鸣叫，完了 ，心想这次躲不过去了......
警察对我大吼，赶紧滚，走路的跟着凑什么热闹！妈的！酒喝多，忘记开车了！
heard from others‘ joke： a man wanted to play a taxi, but he could not get it. He asked the traffic police, where he could hit it, and the police said, it was OK to be far away from me.
之前看一段子，一个哥们想打出租车，可怎么也打不到，他问旁边的交警哪里可以打到，交警说，离我远点就可以了...
