FlashBack--
Election Night 2016 Trump-Clit Election-
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--- Reporting from the Road.--
----------San Pedro, Guatemala
One of my favorite things about living here is the T.S.F. (Taco Safety Force) In this town; every taco emergency is met with force. No citizen here is ever denied Tacos, Tortas or Papusas- EVER- Here, every day is Taco Tuesday.
Tonight being the night we all find out the fate of the world and whether Godzilla or Mothra will rule, I craved the American comfort food. Tacos. I even got a Torta in solidarity with my brethren in the swing states.
The America Day Crisis lasted almost 10 minutes. It started while I was writing an article, about how the next president will affect the nation's relationships with countries that give us direct aid with their food programs.
I fear the next president will ruin our ability to access high-quality foods such as; Chinese food, Italian, Pizza, Greek and so much more. With relations strained all around the world, I, and others like me, are concerned that Greece will stop sending the shipments of Tzatziki and Souvlaki, that we so depend on to maintain regular American status.
What happens when, after the election, our ties with China become so tense that the Chinese government bans the export of Moo Goo Gi Pan or Rangoon? I think we are about to see the end of days as predicted in Revelations when the book speaks of the famine brought on by no one being able to get Tacos over the wall. THE END IS NEAR...
Living so remote as we do, when the Taco situation started tonight, I had to put on slippers and walk around the corner- AROUND THE CORNER!!!!!!!!
I made it, even though my slipper has a hole and there was a rock on the road that I had to step over. When I got to the Taco Emporium, they were open, and there was no line,
I had to push on through. I ordered my Emergency Tacos and my comfort Torta to go. I was afraid that the Taco looting and price gouging might start tonight since the polls were closing. I waited in the corner where I could see anyone coming at me and kept my back protected.
At one point, a kitten came in. I was suspicious, but I looked deep into the cat's eyes, and I think he knew I was on to him. He purred this ominous purr that let me know my Tacos were noticed and I needed to watch myself as they were a target. I could tell the kitten meant business, so when my food was done, I just threw some money down and split. I didn't wait for change, and I didn't look back, I just booked home.
Tonight my Taco emergency was not too bad, and I was able to get it done in under 15 minutes. I could feel the shift in the air, though; the next president could ruin the entire food chain. Keeping our borders open ensures that our Pizza's, Egg Rolls, Gyros, and Tacos are all treated equal and have the same opportunities to be the food of all nations, together.
The Tacos and Torta were worth the 15min struggle to walk around the corner.
Freedom.. it ain't free.
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