It’s 4am and I'm awake. My eyes are closed because I'm trying hard not to fully wake up, but I can’t sleep. I’m lying in bed worrying about the future, about tomorrow, about the past, and about the present… I am worried that I will not get enough sleep, because I am lying awake worried about the future, past and present.
Six months ago I quit my 9 to 5 office job, and decided to detoxify my life from the negative environment I had found myself in, to try and become a better person. I’ve tried a lot of new activities such as scuba diving, cooking, learning to code, and even baked some pretty terrible cookies as well!
Since then I’ve found life is better than it ever has been before.
I’ve come to realise that in life you need so little, (that’s a story for another time) but even though my life has vastly improved and I am using this ‘free’ time to express my creativity and try new things, I still find myself worrying about every little thing. So that being said, here a list I’ve made which really helps me to worry. Enjoy!
A list of things to help you to become a serious worrier about everything:
(One thing I ask is that you take this list light-heartedly)
- Check social media, as often as you can! Because all people on social media have their lives figured out and you’ve not.
- Compare your life to people on social media, because their life is so amazing and yours at best is just average.
- Think that everyone is better than you, even though all your friends and people you know have problems.
- Assume that it’s only you who has problems, no one else.
- Keep asking why is it always me?! Again, because it’s only you who has problems.
- Assume that everyone else has their lives figured out. He always knew that he wanted to be a model, she always knew that she always wanted to be a dentist. Only you have no idea what you want to do in your life, everyone else is born knowing what they want to do.
- Don’t read any books, what do they know.
- Give up when it gets hard.
- Don’t give up on things that make you unhappy. Keep doing them until you become a desensitised robot.
- Listen to what other people say, especially those who don’t care about you and probably hate themselves.
- Care about others opinions.
- Don’t question anything, just do.
- Don’t learn how to think. Learn to do what you’ve been told.
- Always worry that things in the future are not going to work out.
- The past! Think about all the things you’ve done in the past and cringe, why did you do this or that.
- Think about all the people who hurt you.
- Think about all the people that you hurt.
- Think about the loser who left you.
- Think about the person you left.
- Think about not getting enough sleep by worrying rather than meditating and relaxing.
- Think about what will happen if you miss that plane.
- Think about how bad it would be to go travelling alone, yeah never do that.
- Always think about the love of your life leaving you, because that could happen... keep thinking about that.
- Never give anyone a second chance, no one ever deserves a second chance.
- Think about politics.
- Think about all the unfairness in the world, that’s the best thing to think about at 4am in the morning.
- Think about what will happen if your chosen career will not work out, that’s the worst. It’s not like you can chose to do something else.
- Keep asking yourself why they don’t like me.
- Be a people pleaser! Everyone else comes first.
- Always assume the worst.
It was fun writing this and made me feel better, I might even try to go to sleep now. I hope you found it fun. Goodnight or good morning.
Love,
Ernesta
