“People do not realize just how much they are putting at risk when they don’t accept what life presents them with, the questions and tasks that life sets them. When they resolve to spare themselves the pain and suffering, they owe to their nature. In so doing, they refuse to pay life’s dues and for this very reason, life then often leads them astray.
If we don’t accept our own destiny, a different kind of suffering takes its place: a neurosis develops, and I believe that that life which we have to live is not as bad as a neurosis. If I have to suffer, then let it be from my reality. A neurosis is a much greater curse! In general, a neurosis is a replacement for an evasion, an unconscious desire to cheat life, to avoid something. One cannot do more than live what one really is.
And we are all made up of opposites and conflicting tendencies. After much reflection, I have come to the conclusion that it is better to live what one really is and accept the difficulties that arise as a result—because avoidance is much worse.
Today I can say: I have been true to myself I have done what I could to the best of my knowledge and conscience. Whether it was right or not, I cannot say. Suffering was inevitable in any case. But I want to suffer for those things which really belong to me.
A decisive factor for me in choosing this path was the knowledge that if I did not respond fully to my life’s purpose and challenges, then they would be inherited by my children, who would have to bear the burden of my unlived life in addition to their own difficulties. I am aware of what a heavy burden was passed on to me by my parents. Such a burden cannot simply be shaken off. You find yourself weighed down with an inheritance that you have to accept and carry around, like a snail carrying its house on its back.
Being ‘smart’ and behaving reasonably are not enough to get you through life. You may well spare yourself some trouble, but you cut yourself off from your own life in the process. I have seen the fate of those who have not lived their own lives, and it is simply horrible.
People who live out their destiny and fulfill it to the best of their knowledge and abilities have no reason for regret. In a way, Voltaire was right when he said one only has to regret surtout ce que l’on na pas fait (‘especially what we did not do’).
It is of immense importance that we as humans accept the debts incumbent on us.
In old age it is not the wonderful things that we perhaps missed out on seeing or experiencing that we will regret, but rather the moments when we let life pass us by.” — Reflections on the Life and Dreams of C.G. Jung.
@Ladyrebecca’s post yesterday, Are You Happy With Your Life Story? was one of those pieces of writing that sparked instant and deep reflection. It’s been rattling around inside my head, off-and-on, since reading the post yesterday. It made me realize what a rarity it is for people to be truly happy in this world. As I stated in my comment—They convince themselves they're content—they settle, excessively compromise to keep the peace, have secret desires they keep buried, wishes that they never see through.
Rebecca’s post really got me thinking about the many barriers to this elusive happiness and the steep prices we pay for not digging deep down within our souls and making our personal happiness our highest priority.
And then, this very morning, fate sent this quote by Carl Jung my way (thank you universe)!
Jung’s core idea, at least the way I understand it, is simple. Life presents certain tasks and challenges to us, and we must rise to meet them head-on. To dodge these dues is to cheat ourselves, to opt for a temporary feeling of safety that comes with a high cost. I’ve seen this in my own life. moments where I’ve given into fear and sidestepped discomfort—whether it was a difficult conversation, a risk I didn’t take, or a truth I just wasn’t ready to face. In the moment, it always feels like self-preservation. But Jung’s words made me realize that, almost always, it’s only postponing the inevitable. The neurosis he speaks of is hardly ever a clinical diagnosis. More often it’s the quiet unease of a life half-lived, the nagging sense that I’ve betrayed some essential part of myself, the shame of knowing you didn’t try.
Those prickly moments linger, nag us subconsciously, not as big failures but as quiet losses, the “what ifs” that whisper in the back of our minds. These moments are very effective at making us second guess ourselves and deconstructing our self-confidence in general. Jung’s wisdom pushes us to reframe suffering not as something to avoid but as a signal to ourselves and the world of a life lived fully. To suffer for what belongs to us, our truth, and our purpose, feels a hell of a lot more meaningful than suffering the emptiness and shame of avoidance.
I’m particularly struck by how Jung’s words challenge us to live with courage and accountability. Accepting “the debts incumbent on us” isn’t about being perfect or having all the answers. It’s about showing up for the messiness of life, for the contradictions within us, and for the tasks that call our name. It’s about choosing to pay now through effort, vulnerability, and honesty rather than paying later with the heavier toll of regret or neurosis. Jung’s reflection isn’t just a philosophical musing; it’s a call to action, a reminder that living authentically is both our greatest challenge and our deepest reward. This question has been following me about the world like a shadow lately, Am I living an authentic life? Maybe this is commonplace once you reach middle age and is something we should all be asking ourselves on a regular basis at whatever phase of life we’re in.
In the end, Jung leaves us all with a question. Am I willing to live what I really am, conflicts and all?
It’s a question I’ll carry with me as both a thought and a guide for the ways in which I rise to meet each moment. Because, as Jung so wonderfully reminds us, the cost of avoidance is profoundly greater than the cost of courage. The price we pay is much more valuable than money, it's sacrificing the seconds, minutes, and hours of our lives that we could be experiencing true happiness and fulfillment.
All for now.
(Gif sourced from Giphy.com.)
