I am writing these lines in a highly emotional state. Neither is this a well-thought-out theory, nor is it otherwise in my intention to support my own opinion with evidence. What I am writing is based solely on my agitated emotional state!
I am fed up with everything! Of this state of madness, into which a government has led me, of this being a model citizen. Duty to wear masks and social distance. As if anyone could! Keep your distance. How can anyone keep their distance? In the supermarkets when shopping, everyone runs like on eggs, people are really annoyed, you can't keep a distance of 2 meters from each other. It's ridiculous! Man forces himself to behave in a completely unnatural way and we divide ourselves into those who fear the virus or the unmasking of their true feelings and those who want to give the virus and all imagined dangers the finger. What insanity has been decided here. It's maddening!
Today I read the hygiene plan for the students who are to return to school by now. The plan contains seven absurd pages!
In some federal states the mayors have abolished the mask obligation, in some others they have just introduced it. Hairdressers are reopening, while in the shops one can hardly move around freely and unbiased. Can anyone explain to me this logic, according to which a hairdresser opens, and why is security now standing around in supermarkets to monitor whether the rules are being observed?
Just so that a government that has taken this absurd decision can save face? Well, what are we not all doing to ensure that Members of Parliament and those who govern us do not feel stupid or even embarrassed? As if we could not simply admit mistakes, if we have made them.
People are not able to maintain this social distance at all and certainly do not want to be reminded every second that they could be someone else's potential killer! I feel like in a bad future movie!
From the loudspeakers in the market I can hear a whispering voice from some brand manufacturer who has actually decided to let a gentle female voice say that "we all stick together in these difficult times and that teapot tea would be an excellent choice". The brands are not too irreverent to fabricate such tasteless slogans and the markets are not to be ashamed to send this nonsense! What a cheap pretense to offer consolation.
What is this whole thing about? The protection of the old and sick? Not for a second do I believe that this politically correct message is even lived, experienced and felt in real time. Too many people put it in their mouths to place their advertisements, run with them or post statistics and specialist articles on the Internet. Everything for the old and weak. Who believes it!
Nobody in this world is objective, nobody alone can really define health. Most of it we just like to think it up.
Life, all life is far more complex and wondrous and real than we could ever dream or explain! We often have no words for it at all!
We have too little astonishment about it, too little wonder and awe for life!
We look back on an evolution of millions of years, an evolution that has created an immeasurable number of living beings -co-creating and co-existing in the most astounding manners - on this planet earth.
And we are wetting our pants because of a virus?
How I'm sick of it! Health Popes all the time, I am harassed from everywhere with advertising signs, instructions, posters, pills here, cures there, what I should not think about all the time to stay healthy. I feel deeply annoyed by it, taken for a fool, it has become so life-determining in this world, which has its own stuff gushing out of every pore. Where death has been declared the enemy of life!
Isn't that what this is all about? Not the old and weak! It's about the fear of dying!
The hygiene regulations for the old and weak, especially in hospitals, have always been isolating! When my mother was admitted to the hospital shortly before she died, we were not allowed to enter the room without gloves, gowns and mouthguards! Such regulations are not new at all! It's disinfection madness! Regulation madness.
She lay alone in the room, she had to spend the few weeks before her death mostly without her family. Nowhere could you talk to anyone in the hallway, the staff rushed past you in silence, no time, no time. One could not spend the night with her in her room, relieve her loneliness. How I wish I could have brought her home to die. Not possible, not possible, no support in her own family. Not to talk about death.
No, nobody said that it was clear that she was going to die! We all want to save lives, right? We do not dare face death and we give rehabilitation exercises to an eighty-six year old patient with pulmonary embolism, stroke and various other serious illnesses. Supposedly, to make them feel better. What a farce! We want those of us who are not yet dying to get better! We want to ignore when a life comes to an end! My mother's body was cold for four weeks Nothing could warm her, no blanket, no warm hands holding hers could share any of their own body heat. In order to feel such things, to linger, you have to touch someone, be in close contact. I felt her death coming through all my own senses. I saw her stop eating. But no, you have to ignore that you have your own mind and sensations. For safety!
Disposable gloves, disposable gowns, disposable masks, syringes. An unspeakable garbage of plastic that comes out of it! The old people are put on diapers so that when they poop, they don't soil the bed. Safety regulations! Everywhere! Careful, careful, careful, careful! Do this, leave that, sign seas! But nobody to talk to. When I asked a nurse to put the side rail up to the bed at night so my mother wouldn't accidentally fall out, the answer was, "I'm not allowed to." Me: "??!" Liability issues! During the week I spent going to the hospital every day and stayed until bed-time I took care of the side rail. I was bringing personal stuff to the room, I was singing songs for her, reading to her. She lay there mostly in silence. One day it was decided that she should leave the hospital. To a nursery home! I was in despair! I knew my mom wanted to go home.
Feeding thousands of pills to the sick, diapers, aids, what a roaring business! Everybody even thinks that if you have high blood pressure in your mid-fifties, that you have to take blood pressure lowering medication for the rest of your life. Blood thinners, hormone balancers, mood enhancers and so on and so on. When we have all reached an age where the first riders of the apocalypse turn their horses in our direction: then we are ready to swallow everything for these life-saving measures.
Is it at all possible to know how health will develop if we swallow medication for years? Whether certain illnesses would not have developed differently by a different diet, by giving up old habits and so on? Or also the courageous acceptance to renounce lifesavers if one falls ill with a serious illness? Does anybody nowadays still dare to do that?
On the contrary: You are observed crookedly if you do not belong to those who take precautions, regularly visit doctors, do not want to be treated. You are described as "irresponsible", as someone who behaves in a harmful and stupid way.
But at any time and everywhere we accept death as a possibility. We just do not think about it 24/7! And therefore we always live with risk. And why not? What is so bad about risking your life to die??
I am frustrated beyond expression right now!
The absurdity of this situation is almost incomprehensible. People can be punished with fines if they do not keep the distance!
All the weeks since the state of exception, I have believed that Hamburg is dealing with the situation in a more or less relaxed manner. I saw no controls in public space. It was quiet. But now that the measures are being relaxed, the police are appearing in the cityscape. Doctors say that the wave is long over and we all notice it. Do we need others to assure us of this?
This tendency to regard human fluids as disgusting, dangerous and unnatural, this was the case even before Corona. People find their own body fluids disgusting, their exhalations, their sweat embarrassing, their organic processes alien. They can't look at blood and mucus and excrement. People are disgusted by others, by strangers, everything could be contaminated by bacteria, jump from the human legacies onto us and make us sick. We have indeed become ill because of this, but don't we know that any avoidance attitude also makes us ill? Avoiding contact with other people, being forced to keep out of each other's way, all this creates a tension, a field of hostility, an environment of aggression. Moving in public space: a gauntlet, all door handles, buttons and surfaces potential killer media. A person with a constantly tense body prevents a relaxed digestion, a relaxed heartbeat, a relaxed mind. Stress makes you sick! This is nothing new!!!
Creating an artificial definition of pandemic! As I have understood it up to now, a pandemic is the following: A highly contagious and almost always fatal disease! An almost guaranteed life-ending event! Now, where, one might ask, has such an event occurred? Certainly not at times when people did not wage war, did not suffer from agonizing hunger, did not drink dirty water, did not have really rotting corpses lying around openly, did not have sewage on the streets and, above all, there was no mass depression of the minds that suffered not only physically but also mentally! THIS is an epidemic. A general painful sorrow, accompanied by disastrous road conditions, unclean and unheated apartments, no running water, people who really and truly cannot get enough to eat, suffer from cold and other unhygienic conditions!
But to talk about a pandemic and change the definition to one that COULD be a virus, which COULD be very deadly, in the face of an overabundance of food and goods in the department stores, running water, constantly available electricity: where are these conditions going to provide for the millions of deaths, except that we artificially create them and create the scenario we are so afraid of!
Anyone who thinks of the plague or the Spanish flu should not get stuck with this abstract term alone. He should look at what conditions prevail in a country that makes such an epidemic downward spiral of human health possible. What other conditions existed. As if a virus alone could cause us to die in such masses, if there were not many relevant factors at the same time! Think of just a few, and then think what others might be! Do not stop asking yourself some important questions. And if you so much care for the vulnerable in poor Africa, than don't visit their villages to show off your care and generosity. Let those people alone, don't take the next plane out of free choice!
I do not want to carry on like this! It cannot be that we are all now waiting for vaccination, because the allegedly many old and sick and dead should not have died! What a lie, what self-deception is going on here? Health is big business! Those who have not yet understood this should understand it now at the latest! We are all very susceptible to bribery, we all at least suspect that the fear for our lives makes us deeply vulnerable.
Our teenagers have been sitting in this quarantine for weeks and what they are learning for life is that you have to be careful. Careful, careful, careful. Safety, safety, safety. Distance, distance, distance! Young girls and boys who don't get together and who are now learning that civil disobedience can't take place anywhere. At a time when it is necessary to speak and practice such disobedience. To learn to take risks. Are you already arrested if you simply express this wish to break out of high security?
I remember when I was young we went to the clubs, we lived a risky life, traveled abroad without safety nets. Call me idiot. But I feel that was right so! We were rubbing our bodies against each other while dancing. We drank from glasses touched by various hands, we felt the sticky sweat of brushing neighbors, we kissed each other with tongues and we touched almost as often as we could. When you are in the heat of your young years, when sex is something important, when meeting and looking for mates is the time, then it is the right time!
The young must rebel! It's nature that they disobey to us elderlies. But when we - the elders - become competitors to them, when we don't want to age, when we don't want to become slow, when we don't want to become unattractive, we behave in a undignified way! We tell all those who are young and healthy that they MIGHT get sick, that there might be a RISK when they throw away their jobs, risk their skins, do things we do not dare to do any more! Probably it's not them but us we are afraid for.
I deeply, deeply suffered from the fact that I felt alone with my wish to accompany my dying mom during her last days at home. Where she wished to be. Continued to express. I was not strong enough to convince the rest of the family to take her home, out of hospital. Believe me, I was highly irritated by the reactions of my family. I did NOT suffer from her DEATH. I suffered the most from the ignorance towards it. A fact we did not want to face enough. I suffered and was sad, sad, sad.
You cannot care for a dying one alone! That's impossible, you have to have friends, people who share the shifts with you, who have the capacities to move the heavy bodies of the sick and dying. I do not hate my people for this. I do not blame them. It's just that I am aware that these are the signs of our time where we want to get OUT of touch. We found the right expression, didn't we? SOCIAL DISTANCE. What a bad bad joke that is.
To feel being forced for this distance shows me once and again: I do not hate people, I love and need them. I don't want to run around for the rest of my life to further maintain the notion that man is mans enemy. This has gone far too long. The current circumstances would not have been possible if we would have not accepted the ground for it long ago. When we sourced out the care to a degree that goes beyond our needs. Privatizing hospitals and nursing homes ist not the right way to live together in a humane way. No profit whatsoever can be gained by that. We all become losers.
If you aren't sad and angry in the beginning of this rant, you certainly are right now. Sometimes ignorance cannot be maintained. Suppression of my emotions will for sure lead to depression. I've been there once. I won't go there again!
This is my opinion. It is not backed up by any other "fact" or "evidence" or "expertise". Sometimes in life you've got to trust yourself!!!