Yes, I needed to let it out and to share it.

I assume that you are already a little further along in your acceptance of what has happened and what will happen, given the circumstances and experiences in your country. I am afraid that we here are still far from the humility and acceptance of such events over which we have no direct control. I think it is quite a significant difference to feel within oneself whether one "gives up" or adapts to the circumstances like flowing water without ceasing to be water.

if we wait a long time and nothing changes on the outside, by that time, we have probably changed, on the inside, and we have found an alternative.

True.
Waiting is actually more often the better option than taking action. My struggle nowadays is that the outside world does not accept waiting as something desirable. In the long run, though, and on a non individual basis humans altogether create a field of ignorance towards threats, for a threat cannot be maintained artificially in the same way a tsunami or earthquake happens and cannot be prolonged by our efforts. Many events in my life were made "the worst thing happening to humankind" but none of them endured the years but seized to be seen as life endangering.

I don't remember if it was you or someone else talking about the personal perception of freedom. And that one can feel free no matter the circumstances. Right now I do lack this state of being and I hope, I'll get it back some day.

Sincere greetings to you.