I like bowling. I suck at it, but I like it. You know what's so funny? I have days when I'm absolutely great at doing it, and then I have days when I just don't understand it.

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say.

Part of my act is meant to shake you up. It looks like I'm being funny, but I'm reminding you of other things. Life is tough, darling. Life is hard. And we better laugh at everything; otherwise, we're

Good!

Excellent