In every human life, there has always be this inner desire for something beyond ordinary, craving for something impossible, as we grow older and wiser our resolution towards the certain things we have set our mind upon becomes stronger, day by day we get close to achieving and setting our hands on those things we crave. just the thought of it, a glimpse of memory of what it feels like to achieve those set of objective or actualizing it puts a smile on our face.
Happiness is based on each individual perspective of the concept, what brings one happiness might bring another pain. the concept of true happiness puts me in a dilemma, here I'm wondering if humans are capable of being happy or do we even know what it means at all, why do we find ourselves doing the opposite of things that are meant to make us happy. thoughts like this crossed my mind, the funny part is I'm not even sure of what exactly is capable of making me truly happy.
I consider true happiness as that moment when nothing else matters, pain and sorrow have finally become a thing of the past and I can genuinely smile without thoughts or worries of what might come next or how long this moment of happiness might last or regrets of what has occurred, smiles all around my face as mighty as a rainbow, feeling of fulfillment and gratitude in the atmosphere with just one thought in my mind "Peace at last" for someone like me who has experienced series of traumatic events, doubts and the feeling of uncertainties, peace of mind means everything.
Here is where it gets weird, happiness to me is not a personal thing, I have a selfless personality and I also care about myself a lot, I guess I can say I'm a selfless selfish person😅 but like they say selfcare is not selfishness. my source of happiness depends two things, how I feel about myself and how others make me feel, yeah it sounds weird😅, let me explain
Firstly, how I feel about myself, how I feel about the things in my personal life in general. All my life, I have always been a dreamer, I put before myself tasks and goals that will bring me one step closer to my dreams, on days when I achieve those set goals and task I feel happy about my self and on days I'm not able to achieve those task I feel unhappy but has someone with a complex personality, I have to make sure the task and goals towards my objectives changes from time to time because if they don't I will get bored and exhausted, so instead of feeling happy, depression sets in. so my ability to make myself happy from my part is not based on a single thing or substance.
Secondly, how others make me feel, when I say "others" I meant those I sincerely care about specifically my family. My family is everything to me, their happiness is my happiness. as long as my family is fine and healthy I'm good to go. the point where I'm rest assured that my family is fine and I also feel good about myself is my greatest source of true happiness.
Currently, based on how chaotic the world has gotten, to an extent my family is doing quite fine but me not so good because a particular need of mine is being withheld since last year. I prioritise my education career a lot but ever since I finished my final year exam last year November and my final year project in January. my school is yet to release the final semester result for my set based on some complications, which is a major source of worry for me these day because I actually need that certificate for achieving something, capable of taking me a step closer to my dreams. I guess for now, I only have one part of what makes me truly happy
Like I explained earlier, humans sources of happiness is not immune to change, it constantly drifts from one thing to another based on our needs, wants and our undying need to feel fulfilled. The sad reality is no one can live forever, humans are perishable beings. which also applies to me and everyone else. my family won't be around forever, which means someday I'm gonna have a family of my own and someday in the nearest future I would have achieved all I dream about right now with other new goals and objectives set ahead to achieve, an endless adventure it seems. the exact people or goals might not remain the same but the source of my true happiness will always remain the same. So yeah I believe it will last for as long as I live.
This write-up was inspired by weekly featured content titled "True happiness" in hive learners community.
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