They say "experience is the best teacher". Memories are strong and powerful, one thing I have always been scared of is heartbreak, this is why it took me so long to start up a relationship. I know myself too well, one of the difficult things for me to do is move on from a relationship I have invested so much into. I know it's very easy for some people and I wish I was amongst them.
For this very reason, I can be stuck in a relationship even if it's literally affecting me negatively. I can keep living in it because I am scared of what I would go through if it should end. But I have to learn to always carry my Brian along with me while doing that after I had a very bad experience. since I know that memories affect me badly, I chose not to allow myself to create tangible memories with anyone I am courting or keeping as a friend. I try as much as possible to keep everything casual. I don't know if you understand, but this is to protect my heart from facing what it dreads and to stay grounded.
I and Annabelle Met on Facebook, we started very cool though we knew each other offline prior to that time but we were not relating too well due to my personality, I find it difficult to relate with people physically but on social media I am a noise Maker. When we started chatting, we liked each other and we decided to take the friendship to another level after a while.
She was a very nice lady, I must confess I have never met any lady that has understanding like her. It was not long after we started dating that she told me her birthday was July 1st, I wrote it down in order not to forget because it was just some days remaining in the month.
A day before her birthday, I visited Nathy, a very good friend of mine. I was lucky he was at home because I came without notifying him. " How are you brother" I asked, "am fine man. You don't visit until you have a pressing need, so what's the problem?" Nathy asked, looking at me with a smile on his face. "Come on dude it's not like that but yes I need something from you", I responded. "What could that be, I just hope I have what it takes?" Nathy replied.
"You remember my girlfriend Annabelle right? tomorrow is her birthday and to be honest I don't know what to get for her." I replied blushing. Nathy laughed and said, "Okay let's go to the market, hope you have some cash." I said "Yes ". When we reached the market, he asked me about one old stuff I always see her wear. I said" Wristwatch" "That's it" Nathy answered, "Get her a wristwatch". I got her a nice one. And then bought some goodies for her as well.
When the day arrived, I called her early in the morning, wished her a happy birthday, and pleaded that she come over. She already had plans to go out with her friends, but she said she would see about it.
Later in the day while I almost forgot about it, my phone rang and it was her.. "hello babe, are you home?" "Yes, I am" I answered. "okay I am coming right now, she replied". Gosh, I already concluded that she was not coming. I didn't tidy up my room. I ran inside, and while I was still trying to tidy the room boom, she had already arrived.
"Babe, what are you doing? I thought you said your room is always neat ?" " she asked while laughing. No! It's not what you think", I tried to defend myself." keep quiet dude you are busted" she added laughing romantically hehe. I felt a bit embarrassed though but then I was caught red-handed already. She quickly joined me and we finished it together.
She continued teasing me about that incident throughout our conversation and you know, the smiles on her face and the way she laughs. I never knew they were registering in my heart. In my whole life, that day was the most memorable. I presented the gift to her and she thanked me, it seems she loves it. We ate the goodies I bought together and she almost stayed late at my place. "I didn't make a wrong decision to come to your place instead of going out with my friends, I appreciate everything dear" were her last words before she left.
A few months later, I discovered she was cheating on me, i tried to get the truth from her but she kept denying it until the person she was cheating with gave me live evidence. I was messed up. I felt if she could not tell me the truth now, there was no how she would start doing that when we were married. That was how we broke up.
I thought it was going to be easy but each time I remember the way she laughed and teased me about tidying my room only when visitors were coming around. The smiles on her face, the sound of her laughter, and everything that happened that day remind me of her and immediately I get hurt more. I just can't go back to her and yet this memory doesn't want to leave my head. Because of her, anytime I watch any love movie and a scene of laughter from a female actor catches my attention, I would be in trouble, that night her thoughts would come back fresh and that is how I would not be able to sleep.
There was a time when I got tired of the whole thing and went to apologize but it was too late, she had moved on with another man. This is a story for another day. But I almost got admitted into the hospital, the things became worse, I could neither sleep nor think straight that very memory held me bonded. It took me long to get rid of it. Well, I am totally fine now.
