I was talking to a friend of mine recently about this last year and how stagnant I had become. It was very much a case of each day was the same with only slight variation. It had become comfortable and I had settled into a routine where the only deadlines were the ones that I was chasing down, not those veering down on me set by some higher authority.
That's the uncomfortable thing about comfort zones. They don't actually push you to make huge changes or to expand because they feel familiar. That's all about to change and I'm anxious and excited about the prospect of working with a team and getting the engagement and banter about projects that push people to their limits, forcing them to be and do more.
From the outside it may have looked like I didn't grow much but I think internally, emotionally and mentally I used this year well and regained so much of my confidence and a will to do more. Without that, I would be absolutely shit scared of the leap I am about to take in this career change. And yes, for those that have been reading, I got the job that I applied for and I start this week.
I've been warned that it is going to be hectic, pressurised and not particularly well paced. I'm going to be married to this job essentially and will be working late evenings when necessary to get done what needs to be done. There will be no clocking out at 5pm and there will be no overtime paid for my extra work. I'm strangely ok with that as the experience I will gain from it will propel me into a potentially dream scenario in my future job prospects. So while it's going to be challenging, tiring and possibly very difficult to deal with at times, I'm up for it and think that the internal prep work that I've been doing growing as a person is going to tide me over and get me through the really rough parts of what is to come.
Change is a necessary part of life. It sets those that are willing to chase their dreams apart from those that are willing to settle. It can be used for good or it can be taken to the extremes and start a downward spiral, but change is the cousin of choice and the two combine like fine wine and cheese. Not that I drink wine, but you get the analogy.
I'm choosing the hard fork in the road for my own future development. For my own growth in both a personal and professional sense and I know that I have what it takes to do well at this job, the only thing that stands in my way is my own doubts. I know that they are going to creep in, especially at the start when I'm trying to find my footing. They will ease over time though and I think that I'll be able to weather the storms and push through to the end of the contract mostly unscathed. If I can, and when I do, I think it will open up an array of possibilities.
So here's to change and choice. Inner doubt and growth. Comfort zones and deep ends. It's going to be an interesting year ahead.
