When I started searching for divine love, divinity came to find me.
At that point, I started to pray.
One of the first things that I learned was to stop praying for material things. I can pray for wisdom or strength, guidance or forgiveness, but asking the infinite divine to alter the course of events in the world to make the price of my favorite cryptocurrencies rise would be the height of arrogance. If I heard a response to that, it would probably sound something like “do it yourself” in the midst of absolute divine laughter.
But even asking for the blessings I mentioned is still a form of request - reaching out to receive something I want or need. This is just touching the surface of what’s really there.
So I found a new type of prayer, the type that is just a conversation.
I've never been interested in therapy. The best thing a therapist can offer is potentially good advice. Beyond that, the expectation of finding a deeper understanding from a very human, very fallible professional through the process of baring my thoughts and soul during a scheduled session for a set fee has always seemed unrealistic to me.
Prayer isn't like that. Divinity is infinite, and it's already inside of you. There's no room for misunderstandings or complications. It's your smaller self having a conversation with your eternal self.
I’m sure there are aspects of the divine that I’ve not yet come close to seeing, but this one is warm, loving, and comforting. I talk, and it listens and guides me by putting the thoughts I need to hear inside of my own mind for me to discover.
You might wonder how this is different from simply thinking, or problem-solving in general, and to that I say the difference is perspective. Rather than trying to create a solution, I’m trying to navigate through the reality of what already was, is, and will be. Somewhere in the infinite, the solution already exists. I’m just looking for the path.
The effect of internalizing this perspective is liberating. With prayer, I feel connected to something both within me and far greater than my little self. Knowing the answers are already there for me to find opens my eyes to them in a way that would be blocked if I let my ego convince me that she was the one doing everything.
My ego is happier this way too. She gets to rest for a bit!
I know a lot of people don’t believe in this greater sense of reality, and I know I won’t be able to convince them otherwise. But for people who do believe, even just a tiny bit, this post is for you.
If you ever need some real therapy, open your heart and pray.