Sometimes life puts us in positions where we make decisions thinking it’s the best for the moment. But later, when you look back, you just wish you had acted differently. That’s how I feel about something that happened some years ago.
My late dad married three wives, and my mom was the last wife. After his death in 2001, there was an agreement in his will that if any property should be sold, it should only happen 20 years after his death. That was his wish. But by 2019, when it was just 18 years after he died, the family couldn’t wait anymore. They wanted to sell everything off before the agreed time.
When the discussion came up about my mom going for her share, I was strongly against it. Honestly, I didn’t want her to fight because I felt nothing good comes out of property fights in Nigeria. It always ends in family enemies, court wahala, and sometimes violence. So, I advised her to let it go. We were five children on my mom’s side, and four out of five agreed with me. But I was the one that started it all. I gave all the points why it was better to just allow peace and move on.
The truth is, my mom listens to her children a lot even though I am the last born. So when I said no, she accepted it without question. She didn’t fight for anything. At that time, it really looked like the best decision. I just wanted peace for her and for us too. I didn’t want to see my mom in and out of family meetings or court cases.
But now, looking back, I wish I could go back and advise her differently. Things have not been easy for us financially, and every time I think of how much that property could have helped, my heart just goes back to that day. Maybe if we had fought for it, even if it brought stress in the beginning, it would have been worth it in the end. That property was part of what my dad worked for, and my mom had every right to get her share.
I sometimes remember how the family members were rushing everything, how they were even talking like it was their right to sell before the 20 years. My mom didn’t like it, but she kept quiet because we told her to. She trusted us, especially me, and now I feel like I failed her in some way.
If life gave me a second chance, I would choose differently. I would tell my mom to go for what belongs to her. Sometimes, peace of mind is good, but not when it comes at the cost of your future comfort. Life teaches us lessons the hard way.
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