How have we gotten so far away from how our grandparents lived? Generally the women in their day became mothers, studied music or studied nursing. The mother's stayed home with their children and taught them how to live in this world and get along with others. If a child didn't study and get good grades they were held back another year so that they could learn. No one expected to go on to the next grade unless they finished the requirements of the grade they were in. Doesn't that seem like a very cool system. It gives you something to count on. When a child is given things that they did not earn (like passing to the next grade) it sets them up for failure in their adult life. By the time the teenager graduates from high school; the habits of getting by without having to work for success ingrains in them to be lazy and entitled.
When did the arrow turn? As women began working and depending on others to raise, discipline and love their child that was the beginning of the end. How can a stranger love a child the way the mother does? It just isn't possible. Therefore, who is that child bonding with? Or are they failing to bond with anybody? Could this be the cause of the spike in narcissistic disorders, bipolar, manic depressive and all the gaps in between?
Children and the adult child are screaming out for someone to love them. They reason that if they can't get anyone to love them that they will just have to take care of ALL of their needs, and they can only do that by controlling those close to them. They are going to keep those close on such a tight rope that they will never be abandoned again. But, the sad thing is, they actually end up driving the very ones they are longing to have an intimate relationship with because love cannot survive while being controlled and smothered.
Children are in the womb growing for nine months, then they are completely dependent on their mother and father for food, comfort, and to teach them how to love unconditionally. Do we ever grow out of wanting to be near those that love us and those we love? No!!! I'm a grown woman and I still long for the closeness of my family, my children, and dear dear friends.
Today is a great day to start showing love to those we really do love. It can change the world one child at a time!!!
