On the 1st of November 2011 I experienced and survived a plane crash that got my mind off the right track for many years and made me suffer from PTSD. It struck me about two months after the accident and destroyed my optimism, cheerfulness and joy of life. As I am writing these words now, more than 6 years after the incident, I feel totally healthy, happy and positive about my life. Here’s how I managed to fight off PTSD without SSRIs, Xanax and other mind altering medicine. I’m no doctor, by the way, so this not a medical advice but just a personal testimony of a dude who managed to win a long struggle with a condition that might mess you up for life.
The first thing I did when things got really bad was start working out. I didn’t have any prior experience of bodybuilding and I even didn’t go to the gym casually. Fortunately, a good friend of mine was a professional fitness instructor and allowed me to work out with him. In no time my body started to change, and so did my mind. Discipline, hard work and goals took my mind off destructive thoughts. The beginnings were brutal, but the results were almost instantaneous, as I had never did bodybuilding before. I would say that this was the first small goal which helped my mind to get back on the right track.
Once I felt a bit better, after 6 months of work-out or so, I got back to pursuing my career in music industry and doing what I love doing the most - playing the guitar. I got passionate about it again, ended up practising hours and hours on end every day, got jobs in bands, went on tours. This led to a job offer from a music band and to my relocation from Poland to Canada.
When your mind gets stuck in a negative mode and one destructive thought leads to another, break the vicious circle and relocate. I was fortunate enough that my job led me from Poland to Canada and I managed to change my surroundings completely. I got to know new people, got surrounded by new language, new food and different atmosphere. It did my good. However, Montreal’s winters are one of the most brutal one can experience and after some time, when the initial charm of the new place faded away, it became quite clear that I needed to live in a place with the sun, seaside, palm trees and beaches. That is how I ended up in Thailand four years ago and have lived here ever since. Having travelled to over 40 countries I have to say that this one of the best places on earth. It soothes you with its beautiful weather, warm-hearted people, tropical nature, laid-back atmosphere and delicious food.
As soon as I got the opportunity, I took a year off in my new home in Thailand and I treated it as part of my therapy. I indulged in Thailand and enjoyed partying, hanging out with friends, playing football, working out, being out all day, travelling, etc. You can’t go wrong with that. Waking up every day with a thought that I had little to zero duties and responsibilities was very relaxing and got my mind set straight.
As I stated at the beginning of my post, I refused to take SSRIs prescribed to me by a physician. I had seen its effect before among my friends and acquaintances and I figured out that taking the medicine gives you excuses to stop working on yourself and leave matters of soul to chemical substances that are altering your mind. Anyway, various research shows the effectiveness of MDMA in curing PTSD, even suggesting that this might be the only cure available. There is obviously a difference between the recreational use of drugs and its medicinal use, so make sure to investigate it on your own before taking substances which might do you more harm than good. Other than that, daily meditation and massage does wonders.
In my darkest moments of PTSD I found myself in a position of being misunderstood even by the closest people around me. It seemed that expressing myself through music was the only way I could get it out somehow, without being ridiculed or ignored. I believe that creating is often connected with destroying the old and breeding the new. It definitely took my mind off negative thoughts and depression.
That probably should be the first point of this article but it happened to me towards the end of my “therapy”. It might sound like a cliche but there is nothing better for mental harmony than a deep relationship with a person you love. PTSD sufferers need listeners and compassionate people around themselves, so make sure you will meet your guardian angel.
Earworm
