"I'm a drunk", the clergyman said, then intermitting for a while, "I know it's weird for a clergyman to say, but I no longer want to live with this secret eating me up gradually". The confessor who sat in a corner partially shaded from the clergyman became anxious to hear of his story. He recognised the figure but concealed his surprise, this was the first time in his service to meet a clergy walk up to the communion rail to confess. "Please go on" he urged.
"My name is George, and I'm 56 years old. I joined priesthood at the age of 18, this tells you I know almost every doctrine in this faith. I wasn't born with a partial crippled leg, and I never planned on becoming a priest. I only enrolled because that was what my parents always wanted for me. It became a torment for me, and I started to drink covertly to comfort my troubled soul". He sobbed, and constantly stopped to wipe up his tears.
"What do you want"? The confessor asked. He wondered Why he chooses to confess few days to his retirement? the confessor at the rail believed there was more to this.
"I want to fulfill my one time longing to experience the bliss in marriage" the clergyman said. The confessor was bewildered, there had been a rumour of spirits that torment priests at this season of the year with negative thoughts, but he had never believed it, neither did he believe George is face with such.
He knows George to be a dedicated priest and is punctual to every meeting. He is confident that the venue is set for mass at it exact time when George is around. "It's George" he comment each time there's contention on who had arrived to arrange the auditorium.
He looked at the now wrinkled old man with compassion. Some priest had at some point felt this way too, but what could he possibly tell the clergyman. It wasn't a confession, but a plea to free the torment within him.
"Have you thought about God's plan over your life? ", the confessor asked.
"No, I fell off a cliff few days after joining the seminary and I broke my ankle. This sad event made me resolve that the seminary was the devil's call" the clergy mumbled in hope that the rector shows empathy.
"What about your pledge?" the rector asked.
"It was an unintentional oath taking" he replied.
"But does that matter now? " the rector asked. "You can start anew, but you need a renewed mindset. You're old already and I wouldn't deny you this opportunity, but I will leave you with two options, it's either you quit now and confess to the congregation your story, or, continue and accept this as your fate" the rector added.
This was the hardest decision the clergyman was to make. "What would the world think of me if I quit now and confess, on the other hand, how will I live forever in pretense and die in silence? " he thought to himself. The clergyman slowly walked out through the door without uttering a word any further. He sat awake all night trying to reach a resolution, an opportunity was laid before him with a high cost to pay. He was known to be so dedicated and members had commended him on several occasions. "Your dedication has made me develop interest for priesthood", some people said to him. To make matters worse, some persons joined the seminary because of him.
The next morning, he walked out into the street to take hold of what he had been denied for years. He wasn't sure what his late parents will think of him but he felt it was right. He denied himself nothing,he said in his heart "go to now, I will prove thee with mirth, therefore enjoy pleasure", he gave himself to wine and laid hold on folly till he saw what was good for men. Then he looked on all he had done and the wrought of his hands, behold all was vanity.
Two weeks later, the clergyman stood on the pulpit with tears in his eyes, his voice was deep and shaky. He was still wearing his priestly garment. He waited until the atmosphere was calm, then he spoke out "For the past 28 years, I had lived in torment as a priest because I was forcefully introduced into the seminary". The congregation was shocked, they started to mutter words, surprised to hear of this. He continued, "This made me sin secretly. I almost felt like giving up at a point and pursue my earlier dream. Little did I know that it was the devil's snare, and it had kept me captive for these years. Now, I'm glad to tell you I have resolved not as a man persuaded by parental decision, but as a free man, to put the past behind and face what lies ahead. This is by taking another covenant to serve faithfully". He turned towards the rector and knelt down, then restated his covenant to serve. "You once asked me if I have ever consider God's plan over my life, I may not have but today I am and I believe this was my fate" George said.
The rector was amazed at the clergyman's choice. He embraced him and gave an ovation, the congregation followed suit.
Declaration
I certify that my entry to the The Ink Well Writing Prize is my own original work and has been published exclusively to The Ink Well and my Hive profile. I understand that my entry may be excluded from the Writing Prize if I have not met the Rules of Entry and the Community.
