Loving Without Expecting: Breaking Free From Transactional Relationships
Expecting something in return has become a culture among certain people. They believe one is entitled to kindness for kindness. While this happens, sometimes the opposite is what comes into play. Religiously, our good should be done with no expectations, but out of a heart of love. Otherwise, the helpless and needy wouldn't find favor from men because they have nothing to offer in return for one's kindness. The world plays it differently. We see a display of honor just for what they stand to benefit, and this is done for the elites and wealthy in society. Love sometimes doesn't reciprocate, and that's fine.
During my NYSC, I met a few people who weren't financially buoyant to rent an accommodation, and I was fortunate to have a place at that time. It would have been easy for me to rent a place alone and try to avoid the stress of feeding them or the discomfort of having them share my bed, but I decided to let them in with me. For a month they ate from the foodstuffs I bought, and I shared everything with them. I didn't do this expecting anything in return but out of love. After a month they got their apartment, thanked me, and we became friends after that. One of the guys is in the U.S. and hasn't forgotten the act of kindness I showed him years back. He's always concerned with my needs even though I try as hard not to seem desperate.
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However, not everyone I showed kindness to paid back the same way. Some believed being smart outshined the good ones. Out of the guys I accommodated, some believed they were smarter. Even when I was broke because I was out of funds while we ate together, instead of sharing what they had, they preferred to go out and eat alone while we were home starving. Even though I knew, I didn't see the need to confront him—everyone wasn't as mature as I was, and that was expected.
So kindness doesn't often come in two ways. Sometimes we do not get it in return. If we have to give gifts or show kindness to people in return for a favor, then we are no different from people in the world who love doesn't dwell in. It's okay if we get it in return, but we shouldn't be so self-centered as to render help expecting certain benefits for our deeds. Love seeks the good of another, not selfishness.