No matter how nice, friendly, and patient person you are, there are always some people you don' get along with. It's not important who's right and who's wrong, it seems that you just can't stand to be close to that person. People have different characters, different opinions, different reactions and you can't predict their actions. If you feel bad just for talking to someone or standing next to someone, something in that person drains your energy. It literally sucks your blood and you start to feel exhausted. Especially if the person is manipulative and consciously feeds with other people's life energy. Now I will tell you few things about a guy I know. We were friends once, but now I can't call him a friend, so let's say he's a sort of my associate.
BACKGROUND
I know this guy since I was 14 and we shared the common interests in hip-hop music. We were both writing lyrics and rapping, many times we were rivals and on different sides. He was very aggressive and kinda evil, even as a teenager. He was the one who would steal your food money, crush your cellphone on the asphalt, tear your school bag, or simply slap the younger ones and weaker ones. It would be kinda funny if the guy wasn't huge. But his corpulent figure showed to be very convincing. As we were growing, he became a little bit calmer but that appeared to be only a mask. He has that special character and unfortunately for me, I let him be in the inner circle of my friends. Well, that couldn't end up well and it caused me tons of problems, but it also taught me a lesson that I will never forget and it helped me to develop the attitude to deal with such kind of people.
The guy I'm writing about is just an example, there are many many people just like him and many many others who suffer as their victims.
THE MANIPULATOR
When you have to deal with a manipulator, or when you have a problem with one, he will never take the blame. He is skilled to make you take his blame - and to feel bad for it. He will always have the reasons for why you're wrong and why he's right. In the presence of that person, you are not able to see things clearly and you feel stupid for even trying to talk about the problem. And you will accept the blame. After few moments, when you are not in his presence anymore, you just realize that you have been manipulated and that you accomplished nothing by trying to solve the problem, you just made it even worse. Manipulators act like they play a real-time strategy game with people around them as their pawns. Nothing will stop them to do exactly what they want and they don't care if their actions will harm other people. Cause justifies the means.
THE EGOIST
In almost every case, the manipulators are also the egoists. They will never admit they're wrong and their way is always the right way.
EXAMPLE # 1:
My "friend" once saw me in front of the bank and noticed that I was going to pay my bills. He started mocking me and telling me that he would never do it, he doesn't have nerves to wait in long line so he "ordered" his girlfriend to do it for him every month. He told me that I don't act as a man... Well, he's also very traditional and makes differences between men's jobs and women's jobs, but I just don't think that way, I live in the 21st century, so all jobs are men's and women's jobs to me.
EXAMPLE # 2:
Since I mentioned "mocking" in the EXAMPLE # 1, the person who is an egoist is a mocking professional. My "friend" is very good at it, he's always trying to entertain himself and some others by rudely mocking someone he picked from the group. So one day a few of us were in the studio listening to a song that we just recorded. My "friend" couldn't stop mocking the guy who was with us and had a funny accent on the track in few moments. But that mocking was very rude and humiliating. The guy didn't know my "friend" well, so he made few revenge jokes to my "friend" and my "friend" didn't like it... So he started punching the guy and beat him up.
These are only the examples, things like these were happening every day with this person and something had to be done about it.
THE ENERGY VAMPIRE
So I described how my "friend" was causing the problems to all people around him. But when he finds himself in the trouble, he becomes the energetic vampire who will make you think about nothing but about his problems. He often demands to be the first on everybody's lists and, as he was a manipulator, he organizes the others to find the solutions and put them under pressure for that. So when you have a problem, he won't even listen to you, he will try to change the subject and mock you as your problem is not significant. But when he has a problem, he'll suck your blood about it! He won't let you even think about something else.
After hanging out few hours with this guy, you feel brain-washed and exhausted, you can still hear his voice and you definitely need some rest.
HOW TO DEAL WITH THESE PEOPLE
I know this guy from my childhood and his character didn' change, so I kinda upgraded my immune system on that type of persons. This friendship thought me how to deal with that kind of people. But I am also a stubborn person and it is not easy to "handle me". I have a strong attitude and I take that attitude wherever I go. I don't have bad intentions for anybody, but I also want to protect myself from exhausting people. Usually, I am the one who will always help! If you are in some trouble, all you gotta do is call me, I will leave whatever I was doing and help you. But I have my own limits, because, if I help you, I don't want to ruin my day with it and think about it hours later. People will try to manipulate you every day and in their presence, you mustn't forget your human rights. The best way is to say straight: "I don't want to do it because I DON'T WANT!". Other answers like "Sorry, but I don't have time..." or "I don't think that I am the right person for that..." will only make him try harder to manipulate you.
When you refuse to be manipulated by an egoist, you should expect some kind of revenge. And he will never miss the opportunity to mention that you didn't help him! I reduced the hanging with the mentioned guy on maybe few times in a month and whatever he says, I just don't take it seriously! Don't let anyone crush your attitude!
DISCLAIMER
- There are people who are too sensitive and fragile. They see all others as possible energy vampires, but those are the same dangerous as energy vampires and you have to be careful with them as with the energy vampires.
- The guy I just wrote about is twice larger than me and physically very aggressive. Luckily, he knows nothing about Steemit and his knowledge about computers are very low, but if somehow he finds this - I'm fucked!