How did I end up tracking down (and photographing) the grave of a stranger?
Long-story-less-long, I've been getting into genealogy (the study of family history/heritage), and part of that is looking up people's death certificate (and other sources of info, like their gravestone) for information about their date of death, location, family members, and so on.
Sometimes the gravestone you're looking for isn't local to you. That's where websites that connect people looking for such info come in handy! I uploaded a request, and while I was waiting, I fulfilled someone else's. It was a ways from where I live, but I made an adventure of it. It felt like something I should do, so I did it.
Her name was Lorraine, and she died in 1996. She was buried next to her husband, who had died fairly young.
I don't know why there wasn't a stone on her grave, but sometimes that happens. The rose bush looks about 20-30 years old, so it was likely planted shortly after her funeral.
Maybe it was planted in lieu of a stone? And maybe that's fitting, because the rose bush shelters the grave next to it from the harsh Okanagan sun, and his stone remains unfaded to this day. The pink petals were sprinkled all around Lorraine's grave, including on her husband's.
The sun was setting, and I had a long way to get home. I left feeling accomplished that I had helped somebody far away - and unable to visit in person - get a little bit of information, and maybe even closure.
It's not just a saying - it's literal. We're all one big family. Everybody alive today is a cousin. Sure, we're not all first (or second) cousins, but we are cousins, in the very real sense of the word. We share common ancestors, most us even within just 4 or 5 generations! For those of us who are relatively (pun intended) different, we may have to look back several dozen generations, but eventually we all have the same relatives.
So, Lorraine was a cousin of mine. Perhaps a 10th cousin, four times removed, or something like that. But she was a cousin - she was family. She was your family, too. And yes, you and I are cousins as well.
Genealogy is more rewarding and interesting that you'd think. I highly recommend it to absolutely everybody reading this.
I got home, cleaned up my photographs, and uploaded them to the site. After a failed trip out there last week during which I failed to locate the grave, it was awesome to have it all wrapped up.
Just then, after weeks of waiting for a response, some other stranger finally fulfilled my photo request, right about the same time! What a cool coincidence!
Hello, great Grampa.
He was in Vancouver (the city I lived in for 25 years and only recently left) all along. I wish I had known that when I lived down there, I could have dropped by his grave. I never got to meet the guy, but my mother said he was kind and always had a smile.
Just a thought... don't miss an opportunity to connect with family, learn where/who you came from, get priceless family knowledge from your elders (before it's too late), or mend bridges with loved ones.
They say you don't fully die upon your first death. It's not until your second death, which is when the last living person finally thinks about you or speaks your name, that you are truly gone.
I think there's a little something to that.
Great grandfather Frank, I didn't meet you, but I know of you. Thank you for being good to my great grandmother, and raising your son (my Grampa) well, because he had a profound influence on my life.
And Lorraine, your roses are beautiful.
D.Rutter (1975-)
