phobia and fear in my head

This article is dedicated to all those who live with phobias and fear in my head.
Each phobia carries megatons of horror and fear that you have to deal with daily and maybe even several times a day. And you with that has become not so easy to live with. Every time you tell yourself "I can't overcome this fear, I'm tired, I'm a goner, and what a good life I would never have". And after a few regular failures in overcoming another bout of fear "phobias" (or, as in medicine it is now called "panic attack") you feel like giving up and you feel like you're just powerless and sink into despondency and despair. More precisely, from a medical point of view, you fall into "depression". Every time you are looking for a solution to this problem on the Internet, medical reference books, and some even at the doctor's "therapy". That's just the outcome of the same you always: on the Internet you find even more symptoms that you simply head explodes and quickens the pulse, in medical reference books you find everything but what you can do to help, but the therapist just pulls you with money, using the fact that you have this disease. Using your fear, he paints you a step by step the course of treatment (each of which you'll have to pay), and from the first class starts to convince you that all is well and wonderful and that you're going in the right direction and that just a little bit, and you get rid of your not arc. Yes, you like at first, becoming good, but somewhere in the middle of class you realize that this aid is not helping, and you again continue to swallow pounds pills "antidepressants" and "soothing" with whom you did not leave never.
And here you are again left alone with myself. And feeling the intense fear which appears from the outside. He comes at you with a powerful wave of unbridled panic. Heart beating so hard that you start to choke, and very dizzy. Sensations are formed such that you're going to die, but to help you not anyone. Because of close people that you trust with you there. And how would you now tried to calm himself and whatever thoughts you positive not chasing in my head all to no avail, a wave of fear and panic drags you further into the abyss of horror. You pick up the phone and calling to their nearest and dearest, but those warm and kind words in the receiver, "hold on, everything will be fine I'm with you, it's just in your head, no-fear", these words you now no longer have the power to help. In response to these words, you only start to get angry, to insult and to break, causing him great pain. You take and swallow the sleeping pills, but they do not feel, and feel what you only became worse. You're already starting to think you've gone insane, and that the next stop is a mental hospital. From these thoughts you have self-esteem drops, and you draw into your shell more and more.
And here you are standing or sitting, and now you have this terrible condition that you're already trying to call an ambulance. Maybe you're driving down the road in his car to the nearest hospital, breaking all the rules of the road, exposing all the surrounding danger. Speeding while talking on the phone with someone from your family (because you are getting better). On every word you said, shout, hystersis rude. Yell him you're "a goner" and that you "already tired so to live" and want to "get away".
And that's dramatically dark and silence. You have no fear. You begin to understand that you "left" that you are no more. Further, the images appear in your mind about the ka you got here. You flew your car at high speed to the hospital. Overtaking all the while cursing on the phone. And in this state in a moment you can't control, and all speed and slam into an oncoming car and from strong blow the car has thrown into the bus stop where there were a lot of people. And each of them someone loved and someone was waiting at home. They were someone's mothers or fathers, and maybe daughters and sons. And you know how many people you caused the pain and suffering. And you yourself now feel the pain of so many ruined lives, but to return is not what you can. And you now realize that the fear you had and the anguish that you never thought was unbearable a few minutes ago, it's not compared to the pain you're feeling now.
Or maybe you "left" in another way! Maybe you're at home stuck his stupid head in the noose, and stepped off the chair. You are now watching from the side, like your hanging body were people. Among them a COP who fills in the Protocol, and the doctors who stand and wait for the COP to finish the examination of your body and they would be able to pick you up and take you to the morgue, and while dripping soothing drops your loved ones. You see what the hysteria is now your wife, who is on his knees and gets in my tear-stained cheeks with his palms to Wake up, thinking it was a dream. And you know how much you now the pain is brought to those whom she loved and who loved you. Recently you cursed them broke, and they suffered. They are the only ones who understood you and therefore your every harsh word had not taken to heart. And now you can't even ask them forgiveness.
As you go down again to darkness and silence. And in your mind sound words those stories that you listened to when something. True stories about heroic deeds of your grandfather. During the great Patriotic War saved a lot of people , he was young but not afraid of death and did not spare himself. As he covered the Molotov cocktails went straight to the tanks, and stopped them. Stopped them and their lives that you could live. And you committed the act that caused only pain . And always hurt their friends and loved ones. You were afraid all the time of something? Be left alone at home or on the streets among strangers away from home, and can ride the subway or fly on an airplane? Yes to many to list, but the essence of each fear one. It is the fear of death. And it turns out that you're afraid that you still should happen, but not only with you but with every person on this earth. You better think about how you have lived this life and how much good did. Because you after death there will be to wait for the last judgment. Where you will be asked for your every bad deed and every tear which is shed for you and caused pain. To each his own time and as long as you live, so you can do more useful things and don't get discouraged . And the more you know the stronger your fear , is pain caused thee pain. Love God and live with him and not break his commandments, and often go to the Church for confession and communion. Because the only way you can go through this life with dignity. After all, if God is in you so in you is love, love for all. A discouragement in which you fall, this is one of the great sins, because he is in you creates a lot of sins and in the end your life is full of sorrow. And the last thing you hear is this strong and so loud as lightning the phrase "WRATH of GOD". And opening your eyes, you realize that you just saw all this while he was unconscious from the fact that brought itself to the unconscious state. And you have no fear because you see everything that can be and feel all the pain that can be. And you realize that your fear is nothing compared to what could happen. And you pick up the phone and call your loved one and say "I love you" I ask forgiveness for what you said a minute ago.