HOPE
Why aren’t we together?
It’s a simple question and I don’t know the answer
I care about you deeply
and perhaps more than you realize
and I know you did
at one time
care about me
at least I was told
or did I hope.
At times we talk
but most often we’re apart
giving me the chance to think about you
without the nervousness I feel
when we are together
That sometimes causes me
to act in ways I wish I hadn’t
making me afraid
awaiting a reaction from you
I know you will never give.
I disguise my nervousness
by using every last drop
of energy trying to be funny
to be strong and
to hopefully impress you.
The need to impress you arises from how much
I respect you and how much I believe you deserve
you deserve success, happiness and love
but you will achieve
all of this on your own
I simply hope that there is a
place for me in your life
a place where I could
somehow be a part of it.
My negative thinking ends
when I’m with you
not because
you force me
but because you make me feel good about who I am
not who I want to be
you encourage me
by example
to dream with the confidence of achieving.
I have never ever heard
you speak a harsh word about anyone
no matter what they may have done to you
or how much you were falling apart inside
instead you try to make excuses for them
and giggle.
I have always heard you speak softly
with care and thoughtfulness for others
you are special because you
do not think you are
yet it is so obvious.
Still I wait in disbelief
in awe of your vivid illusion
of perfection
so strong alone
that no man could carry you higher
or would never attempt to
knowing what a privilege it is to walk by your side.
The man who does not
recognize this is the greatest tragedy
the man who does
will be envied.
And I will continue to hope
through love not infatuation
that our fate
may someday
be together.
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© Doghaus
18 December 2017
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Honestly,
Doghaus