A LOOK INSIDE
I allow myself
to feel
and I hurt
I give myself
a key
to a door of hate
that opens a house
of pain
on a property
of torture
Self inflicting
punishment
so the scar
won’t
last as long
when others
decide to try
Choosing not to have
a perfect life
feeling guilt
because I do not
appreciate
all that I have
yet I realize
the pain
of those
who have less
It does matter
and does affect me
for the minute
I take
to think about it
but the return
to tearing
myself
apart
is guaranteed
I am not
and will
never
be
satisfied
with who I am
compliments I receive
from others
are as unnoticed
as my breathing
They are not something
I think about
yet they exist
sometimes I feel
a compliment
from a certain someone
would cure my disease
of self-punishment
but when the praises are given
they don’t seem to matter
Love is the only cure
but I cannot
allow
myself
to love again
I want to love
and love
being in love
but I refuse to look
I need to find
someone
who will
remove
my mask
gently
but with
fierce
determination
someone to do for me
what I have done
for others
but they
unlike myself
will be rewarded
or their efforts
They will be appreciated
because I know
it takes more
class and bravery
to forget
playing games
and expose
your true feelings
for someone
than it does
to fake emotions
I know someone cares
when they are willing
to stand before
the one person
they would most like to impress
and risk
the chance of
embarrassment
Someone like this
does exist
and I want her
to find me now
because I am
ready to love
the one
who will make me
love myself
When my mask
is removed
I will love
with a passion
and intensity
that is eternal
and meant for
that
one
special
lady
who was able
to see
beyond
If you enjoy this post please RESTEEM - UPVOTE - COMMENT - FOLLOW 
© Doghaus
7 January 2018
I own all rights to the text and image in this post.
Honestly,
Doghaus