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So, your best friend's brother-in-law's landlord's high school classmate's ex-girlfriend’s second husband told you about hive and here you are!
But its day 2 and you're still not a whale.
How do you get people to vote your post about making homemade eggs?
As a hive veteran, I'm here to help.
Include a multitude of stickers and banners - The post should be 100 words but sticks and banners make it longer, colorful, and easy to understand by the average toddler.
Learn Spanish - you would be forgiven if you think hive is a Spanish language platform where a bunch of English-speaking weirdos are trying too hard. Spanish will help you broaden your horizon.
Find a sugar whale - There are many whales creeping about in hive, catch one of them in a net of sycophancy and you get a guaranteed income scheme aka autovote.
Join a
circle jerktribe - Find like-minded people who are also looking to make money by making posts about things nobody cares about. Connect with them ask about the weather, abuse politicians, send nudes, whatever helps you.Money can't buy love - but it can buy upvotes. You're like a politician, you fund your hive power, self-upvote for good health and acquire minions who leave grammatically incorrect comments on your posts.
This blog is a satire. Don't take this or anything too seriously.
