On this week's topics I choose to write on option one.
Option one: If you could change
If you could permanently change any physical thing about your body or face what would you choose and why or if you could change something about your partner's face or body what would it be and why?
On my part, if I had the ability to change a part of my body I'll like to change my breasts.
Naturally, I don't like big breasts for whatever reason but at the same time I don't like very small breasts and sadly I belong to the people in this category category.
My breasts are very small and they make me feel shy馃様 I have been laughed at so many times because of that. I remember sometime in high school, I was in my semi final class and was yet to start wearing a bra. One day, I was going to attend a Christmas carol service in church and the colours for the day was red, green and white as expected. I didn't have those exact colours so I opted for a red and black gown which my mum bought me.
It's habitual of my mum to scrutinize me thoroughly with her eyes before I go anywhere so after I got dressed I stood in front of her so she could assess my outfit. My mum told me she didn't like the dress because I looked too flat. 馃挃
I felt very sad. That year I was really going through a lot of insecurity challenges as I just changed my school from an all girls School to a mixed school. I was now exposed to a different life where you have to look attractive and appealing to the opposite sex. I started receiving attention from guys, people were asking me out and I was always declining. A guy had insulted me because I turned down his proposal saying I wasn't even so attractive, I had no breasts!馃ゲ
This made me cry so much and I distanced myself from people because of that. I became very self conscious, insecure and reserved. So hearing my mum say that to me too made me feel very terrible. I won't forget, I let out all the bottled up feeling that day. I boldly told her if it's not the red gown then I won't go to church. I went on to defend my decision saying she bought the dress for me, she made the choice and I told her from that day, no one is choosing my outfit again. This is how I broke the scrutinizing rule.
Also, while I was working as a teacher, the vice principal picked on me everytime. To him, he was cracking jokes but I know how sad I felt on the days he kept saying that people with small breasts like me hardly forgives those who offend us because our breasts are too close to our chest and we are hardened. 馃槶馃挃 It was the cruelest thing and most painful joke I've had to endure hearing for 2陆 years.
My breast insecurity was so bad such that I never undressed in front of a fellow girl, till date I'm still a bit uncomfortable about it. My girlfriend tells me often that I cover up too much for a girl, I should loosen up around girls but I don't listen. I can't share a bathroom with a girl, I'm always looking for privacy.
Even on occasions when I'm going for a swim in the pool, I only wear bikini's that have breast pads. Still I don't feel very comfortable.
I remember a time I was dating, my boyfriend used to work the whole day so he usually dropped by to see me in the evening. Most times I would go out to see him in my night wears but I'll always wear a bra even if it's late at night馃槀 It was that serious.
Over the years, I've learnt to get comfortable in my own skin, yes I could get a surgery to have my breast enlarged and all those shit but I don't feel that's necessary. We are all different in a good way, we mustn't be the same and despite this I'm honestly still very much attractive the way I am.
I began loosening up a bit more. In previous times I could never pass my door post without a bra on but right now bra's feel like a burden to me so I only wear them if I'm going anywhere far from home.
I still feel a bit insecure about it but it's not as much as before. When people pick on me using my breast as a means of infuriating me, I don't get mad. I always have a sassy reply waiting 馃槀
Before I get married, I'll tell my husband I don't have big breasts ahead of time so he doesn't feel disappointed when things are about to go down... You gerit? 馃槀 Okay, I'm joking but I've been thinking about it though.. just a thought馃槈
Summarily:
Insecurity kills all that is beautiful.
For this reason, daily I consciously declare positive affirmations to myself, I don't worry about anyone seeing me the way I am. I no longer feel sad or beat myself up about anything. I distance myself from people who make me feel bad about my body and my self in general. I'm intentionally creating a life of happiness and building my self confidence
Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default - Tomorrow isn't promised so be humble and kind says 
I'm 