I have a huge admiration for performers each time I set my eyes on them. The confidence, the excellence in display and the amazing feeling they pass on to the audience. I always wonder "do they ever feel nervous?" Afraid? Whatever it is they do and how they do it, I believe there's a special grace in them for that which I do not have.
Well as earlier stated in my comment on 
"Didiee Out!"
Well that's how it usually begins. The choir director without warning will just choose to call me out in front of the choir. I certainly always be like "who, me???" That's because I feel it's a big mistake, probably the person behind me so I begin to look around. Then he comes straight to me and points at me saying "yes, you. Out!" 馃槀馃槀 The rest of the choir will be right there roaring with laughter. Truth is, once the decision has been made that you'll be leading a song, then you'll do just that. The director always says if you choose to disgrace yourself and the whole choir then play and sleep on your role.
What does it feel like to be a lead singer?
It feels like a huge responsibility, a burden. I often feel very overwhelmed and nervous. I'm never always able to do anything accurately from the moment I'm assigned a role. Anxiety kicks in and it gets worse as the actual day draws nearer. I get busy with a lot of activities to distract my mind from focusing on the task ahead.
Personal Rehearsal
I always rehearse the song properly. It's the least I could do as an already nervous, shy and afraid lead singer.馃槃 I play the song on my phone which is the recording from the rehearsal with the rest of the choir and I sing along. I also play the original song from the actual singer and make corrections on spots I didn't get quite well.
My mum is usually my audience, she too is a very experienced singer so she's always the best person to sing to. She coaches me till I get perfect.
My mirror is also another favourite rehearsing tool. Every night while everyone is asleep, I go to the sitting room where we have a huge mirror. I stand there to rehearse watching my expressions closely. All for just one song! 馃槀
My outfit boosts my confidence
My choice of outfit has an effect on my appearance. Usually I go with the colour of the uniform proposed for the choir. I always make sure I'm comfortable with what I'm wearing. The audience definitely looks at your physical appearance before any other thing. Imagine if you're shabbily dressed and you're looking unkempt, you already give the audience a reason to be disinterested in what you want to do.
In cases where I have to pick my outfit, I always go with gowns and flat cover shoes. I avoid heels at all cost, my nervous self might shake and fall馃槀
Performance day
On this particular performance day, my anxiety heightened. If the heartbeat had a sound, mine would be the loudest. I looked physically shaken, it was so obvious. All I could do was take deep breaths. I tried to rest but I was way too nervous to sleep so I just lay down and toss in bed.
When the hour drew near, I got dressed in a white long sleeve top and a black crepe skirt and of course with my flat black cover shoes. I got to the venue quite early, this eases the tension. The longer I'm in a performing venue, the less nervous I become. I watch how everyone gets up to the stage and do their thing without stress and I prepare myself to follow suit.
The Moment
The long awaited moment finally came, the choir was called upon. Members of the choir didn't stand and so I didn't stand up too. All the courage I mustered flew out of the window. After waiting for a while, I finally stood up and the rest of the singers followed suit. 馃槃
I tried to make the audience come alive by saying a few words and making them repeat the theme of the song after me.
I looked to the keyboardist to give me the key and he asked me to sing and he'll key in. That was the first problem. It wasn't supposed to be so. I ended up using a really low key but the other singers sang along very well. The problem came when I had to sing the ending part of the song, it was a bridge that required I sing with a voice much lower than I was already singing and that wasn't possible. My voice was already too low, I almost cried. 馃槀馃槀馃槀 I signaled the rest of the singers to end the song at the chorus, a lot of them looked confused except a few who understood my reason for doing so.
I hate it when people switch keys in a song. If I use the wrong key but I'm singing it perfectly, I'll rather maintain it than jump to a different key in the middle of a Performance except the keyboardist has signalled to me that he'll be switching the key for me.
After the performance, I went out and cried till the end of the program.馃槀 I was so pissed at the director because he assured me he had informed the keyboardist on the key to use. I approached him earlier to inform him I didn't know which key I was singing. Some people came to me later and said I did well but I wasn't buying that馃槀
A week later, we sang the song again at a different church service and I still led the song. This time I did excellently and everyone wondered why. That was the last time I led a song, I don't wish to try that again 馃槀馃槀馃槀
Thank you for reading. Don't be too hard on me in the comment section, I might cry again.馃槀