"A person can be looked at from different perspectives, don't let them see more than one side".
I heard these words first when I was three years old.
"Chin up, back straight. Always walk like you own the room". These came when I was five.
"Alexandria never forget who you are meant to be".
Who was I really?.
From the time I took my first step, I had been taught how to act, how to laugh, who to associate with.
I was taught how to be perfect. No one could be hundred percent perfect, so then why did my mother try so hard to make me into someone I could never be?.
"Alexandria",my mother called out snapping me out of my thoughts,"Our guests arrive in ten minutes make yourself presentable".
"Yes Mother".
I thought my story would be as it had been for as long as I could remember where Mother talked about my "accomplishments" throughout dinner, Father nodded and grunted at the appropriate places while I sat there dutifully speaking only when needed.
Normally I tune them out because there isn't ever much to say but then I heard, "Alexandria is so excited, she will make a wonderful bride"
Wait, what?.
I must have heard wrong.
"Yes she will, we must start wedding preparations at once", a woman who I couldn't recall what her name was replied.
I blinked once then twice hoping I was dreaming. I looked around the table. My eyes landed on Luther who was grinning.
"I'm not getting married and I'm most definitely not marrying him", I screamed.
"Alexandria sit down!!"
"No, I have let you control me all my life, now you want to pawn me off to him?". I pointed with dread filling me, "Dad say something, do something!!".
My father stared at me blankly and guess what he did?.
He grunted.
"Alexandria apologize to our guests right now".
I looked around, no one was going to help me. I bent down, unstrapped my heels, kicked them off and ran hitting a server on the way out.
I heard my mother screaming but I didn't stop.
When I found a place to lay my head down for the night, I closed my eyes and wished my mother didn't care so much about appearances. I wished I could go back in time before she became so vain then maybe I could have a normal life.
I opened my eyes. Why was it so bright?.
Gathering my strength I dragged my feet out of the -.
Wait a minute, this isn't where I slept last night.
"What did I tell you Caroline?"
Grandmother?
"Chin up, back straight Mama", a girl my age replied.
Mother?
What is going on.
"Now remember Derek Campbell is going to be there. Walk around like you own the room"
"Yes Mama"
*"Let's get going then."
"Grandmother, mother". They passed by me like they couldn't see me. My eyes widened, my wish came through. I had gone back in time. I followed them to an event that was so huge and glamorous.
I'm guessing that's why they named it "The Glamour of the Season".
I lost the younger version of my mother to the crowd. I walked around ideally until I set sight on her again.
She was glancing around looking nervous, finally when she noticed no one was staring and she slipped away.
I speed walked in her direction. She entered a tiny room then shut the door.
"Where are you Jerome?, we don't have much time".
"Oh my sweet Caroline, Jerome isn't coming".A gasp flew out of our mouths at the same time.
Where did Grandmother come from. I hadn't even heard her enter.
She continued,"You could have everything you could ever want and you choose to elope with an errand boy, really Caroline?".
"Mother please, I love him"
"Love?, That's just a fantasy little girl. Wake up.", She smooth her dress, "I took the liberty of speaking to Derek's parents. You'll wed him tomorrow and as for your little lover boy he left you this."
Mother scrambled to catch the sheet Grandmother had tossed. She opened it and read. I saw it happen. I saw her become the woman I knew. Whatever was in that letter broke her.
My eyes snapped open.
I stared at her eyes. She looked like the girl she had once been. The one who begged for love.
I flew off the bed hugging her,"I'm so sorry Mother".
She squeezed me tight, "When I saw you lying there, I was so scared. I thought I had lost you".
"It's okay Mother I know-"
"No it's not. I let my mother mould me into who she wanted me to be then I took a page from her book and did the exact same thing to you. I'm so sorry Alexandria".
I was crying already, "I'm sorry too Mother. I'm sorry that letter broke your heart. I'm sorry you had to marry Dad. I'm sorry I couldn't be better".
"You don't have anything to be sorry about Alexandria. This is all on me. I became my mother. I only cared about appearances and people's validation after Jerome left me. But no more. I'm going to be better".
She broke and stared into my eyes," Don't ever run away from me again Alexandria".
"I won't if you stopped calling me Alexandria and called me Alex".
"Okay Alex".
We both laughed signifying a new beginning for us both being perfect imperfections.