So I've been stuck and out of ideas. Last night I stared at the ceiling thinking what do I write about, what do I have to share?.
It's funny how active I've been on Hive ever since I resumed. I mean this is the time for me to really focus because one single fall out and I have an extra year. Something I don't wish upon myself or anyone else.
Anyway, school feels different. People are different, everyone seems to have "grown" and are more focused about their lifes. It's our final year, we all need to be serious. The group of guys that normally sit at the back making unnecessary noise to distract others now sit in front eager to learn.
I asked one of them after a class what happened and he said," Omo I don't want to stay in this school longer than I have to". Guess we were on thesame page.
I was on my Internship period before school resumed. On resuming we all knew we were going to defend. Personally I was really scared. I mean I would have to stand in front of a person and talk.
How was I supposed to do that?. I prefer to hide behind my screen, it's much easier that way. I'm digressing that's not what I wanted to write about so to my main point.
My departmental defense was scheduled to hold from the eleventh to the eighteenth of January. As the days approached my heart kept beating but then eighteenth came and passed, still I hadn't defended. I was starting to panick, majority of my coursemates had defended and the only people left were the people in my group.
Finally,my assessor decided to put us out of our misery.He called us individually on Wednesday to tell us our defense would be on Thursday.
That Wednesday night, I went home, got my IT report out from where I kept it and began to study. It wasn't that hard considering they were stuff I did for over year.
After that it was on to the next issue, how to walk in heels. I put them on that night parading round my house while my brother eyed me. I think he was just jealous that I was taller than him.
Thursday came, I wore my jean and polo to school because I don't do well in formal wear for long.
Everyone kept going,"Claudia aren't you defending today". I would have to admit I was "feeling" myself because I was the only one not dressed. I felt like a rebel. I had to change eventually tossing my rebel out the window.
Two o'clock and it was time for defense,my assessor was no where to be found. I took off and put on my heels a total of four times. I counted.
Finally he showed up, I was given the number 6. When number five went in I kept on pacing up and down. My friend collected the report I kept glancing through and told me I was being paranoid.
It was my turn eventually, I went in there and I nailed it if I do say so myself. That was my first time defending so I think I had a right to be scared.
A senior colleague told me it's part of life and if I am to graduate it's a journey I must go on. With my project starting soon and having an internal and external defense to anticipate,my mind keeps racing but I know I'll have to face it. I started the journey already and I'm going to do my best to reach the end of the road.
But in the meantime... I finished phase one.