I'm so happy because today I've found my friends they're in my head...
How are you 
How's life treating you? You guys.
If you've read my previous post, I am in the process of moving. Again. You know, the whole packing and rearranging. Decluttering and downsizing. Discarding. And I've discarded a lot. As I look into how much I've lost in this journey, I realized that I actually need things. Some things. Some people too.
Oh people, can't live with them, can't live without them said 
I've mastered the art of starting over. And I am getting tired of it. I just want to settle and not run away, like really, for once. To be in a place I don't need to take a vacation from. A life not to escape from. But, I have a feeling this will not go on forever. In my mind, I have a picture of this ideal life. You know, a house with a garden and lots of pets. As in lots of pets (cats, chicks, dogs, geckos, turtles, and tarantulas too.) It'd be minutes away from the sunset beach. Oh but beautiful things are not just handed to you, right? Or not? I am saying this without the late-30-something bitterness. As far as I know, you've got to work 'till retirement so you can enjoy your remaining years on earth in a beach house of your dreams somewhere. That's what I thought.
I have a friend in Belgium who married someone from where I am. He told me that I got to find someone to do this with, like I can't just build a house all by myself (because this is absolutely ridiculous right?). I am 37 and here I am, still, ugh hate to say this, renting. Moving around as if I'm still a teenager. I didn't become something at this age. And why it never occurred to me that the normal pattern is to have someone to share your life with? Build a house with a garden and pets with? Build your ideal life with? Errr because I am
But as always, I move forward and upward. I live life without regrets.
There's a bright side to all of this. So, I keep on getting this call from a mysterious number. I ignored the calls because I thought it was just one of my stalkers (ha ha who am I kidding?). But yesterday, I finally answered it for some reason. It was a follow-up call for this Reports Analyst job position I applied for a long time ago. I was told that the company decided to hire internally. And now, they start to remember me. I'd be arrogant to respond, I told you so.
But you know me, I don't want to be around people 8 to 5. This will be too much. But sadly reality bites, so I might give this job a go. Because who am I to choose and complain in these uncertain times? Sanity is overrated remember.
I don't know what's in store for me in this new chapter. It is pretty much a reputable company that has an office/branch here on starfish island. I just want to be positive so as not to ruin things. Maybe I need to earn a bit extra on top of my tiny crypto earnings, why not? If that could afford me a cat and a bottle of wine.
I'll just go with the flow and take whatever the universe is giving me. I know, I know, these are my choices but deep down, I feel like there's some kind of supernatural intervention in all of this.
This is what happens when I am about to receive good things, I start imagining really happy stuff. I picture I have new friends and all, they come over, we go to the beach, swim, drink, and have fun together. Then I wake up, they are not real. I just made them up. Well, at least things are better inside my head.
There's another bright side to all of this. I might get a kitty, and this time for real. I am actually moving just to get a pet (because it helps me). I survived isolation because of Feliz (my cat before that passed away). I'll do anything to regain my sanity, if that is even possible.
I am done with the dark side and I need sunshine now. Better days, please?
How's your weekend guys? I hope you are all staying safe and healthy out there. Wherever you are.
previously, previously, previously,
