Walking and writing

They would relax my heart, dissipate my pessimistic thoughts. When I could do both during the day, it meant my day would be fine. On that day the dark clouds were relatively dispersed, I felt my heart more spacious.

While walking I would like to kick the negative thoughts in my mind and move away from me. If I can write, I send and send my heart on my fingers, from there to my keyboard and finally on the white screen how much accumulated poison, tar, pus, pus, hatred, violence, swearing, pink, white, sweet, soft, warm, cotton cloud. That's why the screen turns black, I think.

But I haven't been able to walk or write as before. The reason I can't walk is my breath. I'm clogging. I went to the doctor, the examinations continue. Hopefully it is not caused by hepatitis. I'm gonna have a biopsy in the next few days.

They'il take a piece of my lung. I've been screaming how long my lungs are burning, there's no one else who can hear me.

I'm so lonely. I'm lonely. I don't have a dive to hold on to. I'm cold in the overcrowded crowds.