"I'm a single man, I love been a single man, and I hope to always be a single man". These are the words I've been repeating in my head for so many years now. I don't let the boredom or the lack of companionship make me think otherwise. My house is always scanty, I don't have a television or properties that will weigh me down anytime I want to move.
Waking up in this empty room everyday, having all my cloths fit into one small bag. Just my laptop and my coffee cup on the table at the corner. I think back why I've chosen this lifestyle. When I was younger, my dad and mom used to love each other. The atmosphere in our house was always warm and full of happiness. Love was in the air.
But my dad went to work as usual on his nicely tailored suit. "He dresses up really fine". He came back with a very sad face. My mom rushed to him as he entered the door " honey, what's the problem?". My dad just said "I was fired", as he shakes his head in pain looking at the ceiling. We recently bought the house we're living in with all his savings, hence he was having no money.
It took only three weeks of some hardship, for my mom to start acting out. By the fourth week, she went out in the evening and would not return until it's day break. My dad was devastated, and in pain seeing how quickly she changed. It was painful for me to see him hurting like this. He borrowed money from friends to manage the house, bought drinks and resulted to alcohol.
One morning, I saw him dressed up sharp again. I was happy to see him looking this way, he shaved his beard which was turning into a scattered grassland. He told me "my boy, I'm going for a job interview. Stay safe until your mom comes home this morning". He kissed me on my forehead and headed out.
He came back that evening with ice cream and meat pie, he knows that me and my mom used to loved them, back when he had his job. He broke the good news "I got the job. It's like 7 times better than my previous job. We're back". My mom smiled weirdly, and said " congratulations". I rushed to him and hugged him.
I was hoping that this will change my mom's new awful behavior towards my dad, but it seemed like she likes it better going out in the night. One day she left, and dropped a note for my dad, saying that she won't be coming back home. I've not seen her since then. This left a scar in my heart. "My dad was messed up by this, I saw him struggling each day to keep himself together".
Recently, I met this gorgeous girl, she's making me feel excitement. I feel a splash of love in my belly. "But no, I'm scared of falling in love. I don't want to be left miserable like my dad was by my mom". It took my dad three tough years of pain before he could find another woman. "She seems good though" But that's the point, I can't tell if she'll stay good or go bad like my mom did.
Now I'm confused, I think I've fallen deeply in love with her, and I know that she loves me too. " My problem right now is opening up to the risk of love. I fear heartbreak". So I decided to seek advice from my dad on what to do. My dad said to me "I suffered a lot, from the pain your mother caused me, but I don't regret falling in love with her. That love was beautifully painful. We had good times and bad times. But, I'll do it over again". He then comes closer and says " My son, you can't control everything, better to love; experience the feeling, and risk heartbreak, than to never embrace love".
