If I was told that coming up with just one line for something I want to write would be this hard, I would have laughed. Apparently, office work takes not only the brain power but also the strength. And that is enough to be angry. Using your brain power on so much other things and not have much battery left to do what YOU actually want. It sucks, but it is necessary.
I can’t count how many times I have picked my computer or my phone to go about writing something and not just have the juice. Why? I gave it all away. I thought I was organized enough, turns out I still have a lot to put in order not to miss out on me days.
Speaking of which, I have had some me time. To reflect. To think. And to be angry (mostly at me). I don’t think this anger would ever leave but life is so colourful that it always offers a way to ‘manage’ it.
Despite the ups and downs; highs and lows – I have been able to try and see new things. One thing to note about me before going any further is how much I don’t go out. There are so many reasons attached to my decision and one of them mostly being money. I have too much to think about than the next party.
However, I was taught that I don’t need much to have fun outside. I was also taught; I do not need a hefty amount to look good.
I have struggled with styling and how to look for what occasion. This is also another reason I decide not to leave my house and stay home instead. But this is unhealthy. Especially for me. I still need to explore the world outside and make connections. I realized that what I was giving myself were more excuses.
So, what I did was take the advice of my friend, Tessa. She showed me I could spend as little as $20 dollars to get quality clothes and footwear. She also put me through Styling 101. For every pair of pants, visualize their match. If it can’t go with at least 3 of your tops, it is not needed.
First rule the moment she saw me. I had worn a palazzo with a cut-off at the shoulders top and covered in (fake) pearls. A pair of leather slipper and my glasses. She dressed me down to just the palazzo, and gave me an oil-stained shirt with croc slippers and said,
“The way you dress is the way you’d be addressed. You’re going to a thrift store, honey. If you look expensive, they’ll sell you shit for cash. Thrifting 101, dress down.”
Wow. And she was right. When we got there (I had never been there), everyone looked like they fell off planet for the hungry. She would tell me as we walked and shopped,
“These people you see dressed like this probably own a boutique in hundreds of thousands of net worth. They come here, pick stuff, take to the dry cleaner to treat and package it so badass you buy when they tell you N30,000 ($30).”
Shock was an understatement to my emotions. She was spot on. We saw a lady with bone-straight dressed in cut-offs and a faded shirt. The bathroom slippers were ten times her size! And as someone who deals on hair (Tessa that is) she could tell the grade of bone-straight it was. First-Grade.
We went from store to store and I swear to God, I have never come home with so many things in my life. For N10,000! Fluff! Many of them still had labels with the $ pricing on them. One showed $11.40 but I got it at $1. I was mind blown.
After we were done with shopping for clothes, came the footwears.
“Footwears is what would mostly cost you money. But they are affordable. Never buy leather slippers in the market. They are useless.”
She explained further that they were not durable. So, we ordered online instead – Hand-Made as these last longer and are more durable. It took 7 days for it to arrive. Unlike the clothes, a pair of these were $5 each. I got two pairs at $10. That is N10,000. I got a pair of Nike slides for a gift. Quality things I tell you.
Then came the ‘koko’ as we say in Nigeria. The time to show off. There was a show coming in town and I wanted to attend. The event was for three days and the ticket varied in prices. We, the girls had ours catered for by ‘gentlemen’. Going forward, I’d like to say that I have never been to an Art Exhibit in my life.
Yes! That is what it was. An Art Show. For the first day, I paired a mini-skirt with a long-sleeved (I don’t know the name of the material-) top.
Another lesson I learned,
“You don’t want to give the simple, chaotic or slutty vibes with your dress sense. Here,” she thrust me the skirt, “if you wear that, you pair with a top like…oh, this one!”
“Another rule, decency is how you make it. You show skin on your upper body, cover your lower and vice versa. You don’t want to send the wrong message.”
And that was how I wore a mini-skirt for the first time in my life. It was uncomfortable and sadly caused a ruckus between us women as I wasn’t at all confident showing that much legs.That day, I met the Boss Lady in Tessa.
Anyway, that aside. It was a beautiful show and the ticket cost was just N4,500 (a little less than $5). The dessert was amazing, (that also cost money but was affordable) and their beverage, (especially the coconut milk) was insane.
The second day, I paired a lacey top over baggy jeans – business-casual is what she called it. On my legs, I wore a pair of brown rubbery half-sandals (I don’t know what they are called honestly). I was more comfortable with this. Very minimal skin and much more my style. But Boss Lady (Tessa) said to me,
“Divine, you said you want to try new things, explore and leave your comfort zone. Well, you better start now. You need to understand that the way you present yourself affects your association in the sense that you would be noticed by the right audience when you sell the right way.”
I was both in awe and confused. Tessa has had years to perfect the art of selling and marketing. She is a model, a makeup artist and a virtual assistant. The way she carries herself speaks volumes. I knew she was right. It showed. But leaving comfort? Who knew it was this hard?
Fast forward to days later, my DM is a buzz because they have never seen Deraa in a skirt.
Yes. I posted it. I got compliments and also weird texts. Lol. It was exhilarating and…well…I look forward to more.
Back to the show. I will drop very few pictures below of what we captured. We mostly made videos via Snapchat. I think I got carried away with the spectacular things around me. There was photography, tie-die, sculptures, oil paintings and other stuff.
The runway fashion was freaking amazing! I saw bizarre and spectacular clothing lines. The models also gave me a run for my money. Lol. They were good.
And that sums up the past few weeks of my life. The season has changed and Harmattan sets in as Winter sets for other places. It has gone from Chilling to Spicy with the weather and her mood swings. Hehe.
All Images taken with my iPhone XR. Header image designed on Canva
