I suppose we've all heard someone say something along the lines of "you just have to LET GO of that and get over it!"
Quite often, we respond by being annoyed by such a suggest — even if not outwardly so — because we know inside that "it's just not as easy as that!"
When you stop and think about it, the whole notion of "letting go" covers a surprising wide band of human experiences... from letting go of a parent/relative's passing, to letting go of an ex lover, to letting go of inherited family "treasures" that actually aren't relevant to us, to letting go of an old hurt, to letting go of an (sometimes toxic) old habit; to letting go of a dream; an idea; a goal.
The list can be long!
The thing is... "letting go" is often misinterpreted to mean that we should just forget about something, and that's where our annoyance and resistance to the idea typically arises.
It took me quite a few years to truly wrap my head around the idea that it's not actually the thing itself that we're trying to let go of, it's our limiting thoughts and feelings surrounding the thing... which can easily end up holding us back, in certain areas of our lives.
"Letting go" is actually about freeing up emotional, psychological or mental space. But it can be a very complex "archeological dig" in our psyches.
When we decide to sell grandma's "priceless" antique tea set it's not really the tea set that presents the issue, it's our "investment" in a body of feelings, memories and emotions relating to grandma and what was important to her. But we tend to forget that those feelings actually exist, independently of the tea set. The tea set is merely a "prop;" a physical reminder of something we are holding on to, in our minds and hearts.
It's a little more complex when it comes to letting go of people, particularly when it comes to those for whom we have deep romantic feelings; often feelings that are not reciprocated.
What are we really wrestling with, in such cases?
Typically what we are faced with is the need to let go of an idea that a person is going to "do something" or "become something" specific that we think in our minds that they should be/do... and we may not really be letting go of the actual person but the underlying idea that a specific outcome and resolution will come to pass.
If you have spent much time walking around on this planet, chances are you've become well aware that we generally can't "make" people feel something they don't.
Most of the time, we can't even make someone DO ANYthing, let alone make them change their feelings! People are generally going to be exactly who they are, and the likelihood that they will suddenly "get a clue" and see things the way we do is often as unlikely as that person growing a second head!
So how did I end up down this particular line of thinking?
As of late, I have been going through a lot of "old stuff" from our attic and closets, with the intention of letting go of anything we have just been hanging onto for no greater reason than "it came from our (respective) parents' house."
Whereas it is fine to have emotional attachments to old family items, you still have to pause and consider whether or not they are relevant to your life. And that becomes particularly true as we age, and perhaps face the reality of moving into a smaller living space, within the foreseeable future.
Mrs. Denmarkguy and I concluded that we'd rather sell is slowly on eBay than in a giant "forced garage sale" when the time to move finally comes around.
Interesting enough, I have been feeling some bits of "brain space" clear up, each time I put a sold item in a box and mail it off to its new home! Letting go can — in fact — be very therapeutic!
Thanks for reading, and have a great weekend!
How about YOU? Do you tend to save thing that have "memories attached," but which you don't really need? Do you find it hard or easy to let go? How about letting go of IDEAS and HABITS that are not serving you? Comments, feedback and other interaction is invited and welcomed! Because — after all — SOCIAL content is about interacting, right? Leave a comment — share your experiences — be part of the conversation!
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Created at 20220923 19:00 PDT
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