"I'm just too damn tired..."
It's probably something we've all said at one time or another, although some people seem to say it quite often.
In many cases it is accurate while at the same time being a bit problematic because it's easy to fall into a pattern of using it as a catch-all excuse for whatever ails you.
It can end up taking on a similar characteristic as words like "fun" or "nice," which describe something we think we are familiar with, even though they barely describe anything at all, at least not if you're trying to be objective and accurate with your words.
While I often feel tempted to say that I am just too damn tired, I try to refrain from useing those words until I have "taken inventory" to accurately establish what exactly I am too tired of or too tired from.
Because, after all, we have myriad reasons why we are feeling the way we are tired.
While I may be feeling too damn tired, most of the time what I am really describing is a pervasive background weariness.
It would be tempting to delve into simplified explanations about exhaustion and rest, or the workload of so-called "grind culture," but that misses the mark.
For most people, hard work is not that exhausting. What is exhausting is doing that hard work but feeling like the reward at the end of the day is just to end up a little bit behind where you started, this morning.
Think of it as perpetually living in a (fictional) world where every day it costs $100 to be alive, but even after all the work and all the overtime you put in, you can only scrape together $99.95 a day.
5 cents is not very much, but every single day you live with the knowledge that — in spite of your very best efforts — it's just not enough... and you have run out of additional hours you can reaonably put into what you're doing, so you live with the constant knowing that your sliding ever-so-slowly into a deeper and deeper hole.
That is extremely tiring... and after a while, the world starts to lose its color and just feels increasingly gray or monochromatic.
A couple of years back, I had an interesting conversation with a man who fancied himself somewhat of a sociologist and economist... and he was quick to point out "how much better off we are" today, than we were — say — 50 years ago.
In an absolute sense, he was entirely right. Our houses are much bigger and more "luxurious," they are much better equipped and we have a myriad helpful gadgets and electronics people could only dream about, in 1976.
But the question — or line of inquiry — that makes a lot of people uneasy is answering whether or not most people really wanted all those things.
Back when I was at University, I had one bill for telephone service from Southwestern Bell for $18.95 a month, and one bill from CableVision for my cable TV service for $24.95 a month.
I honestly don't consider myself "better off" because people can now call me while I'm on the toilet, and I can't honestly say that my entertainment options have improved as a result of having a smartphone, Internet, Satellite TV and 47 streaming services. All of which require me to not only download an app I don't want, but also require me to get a subscription that is almost impossible to cancel.
My best times are not related to any of these services, but can instead be found in the hours I sometimes get to spend walking on our local beach, or the time I spend with my hands in the dirt, growing things in my garden.
And getting back to the state of feeling "too damn tired," every time I finally work my way to a point where I feel like I have gotten my head above water, some kook somewhere invents a new subscription service or product I "must" pay another $30 a month for... in order to still remain a member of the human race.
Not long ago, one of the "Dumb Fees Department" things I ran into is our county now requiring a $140 a year "septic inspection fee," for something that had been running perfectly well for decades without a fee.
In all this, I find it fascinating how conservatives and 1%-ers get all enraged and trembly about income redistribution — calling it communism and socialism — when the traffic leads from the "haves" towards the "have-nots" but have not one squeak to say about the pervasive "income redistribution" that has been flowing from the "have-nots" towards the "haves" for several decades, now!
As if someone who's living off inherited generational wealth is in a good position to tell someone who's struggling that they "just need to apply themselves and work harder."
Thanks for stopping by and have a great remainder of the week!
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2026.08.26 01:50 PDT
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