An image generated by me
There is this kind of tiredness that comes with being the firstborn and it is difficult to explain to someone who has never experienced it.
It is not only the tiredness from work or everyday life.
It is the tiredness of constantly feeling that people are looking up to you, depending on you, and expecting you to know what to do, even when you are still trying to figure out your own life.
Sometimes, you sit alone and quietly wonder, “Who is going to take care of me?” "who will ask me how am truly doing" It is a painful question because you have spent so much of your life taking care of everyone else.
Being the first daughter or first son often comes with responsibilities which nobody officially gives you.
You simply grow into them, you become the one expected to understand, sacrifice, set an example, help the younger ones, and sometimes stand in the gap when your parents cannot do everything themselves.
You may not have asked for it, but somehow, you find yourself carrying it and still figuring it out for everyone
The difficult part is that people often forget that the firstborn is also someone's child, and it's also their child and a human too
The firstborn gets tired too, they also get confused, disappointed, and scared too.
And the painful part?
*Nobody really asks what all of that is doing to you
We can be struggling and still hear, “But you are the firstborn.” Those words can sometimes make you feel like you have no permission to fall apart.*
There are firstborns quietly watching their mates move forward while they balance their own dreams with family responsibilities.
Some even postponed their plans because there is always something more urgent to handle at home.
Some help everyone else while secretly wondering, “When will it be my turn?” And that question can come with guilt because how do you tell your family you are tired when you know they need you?
But being tired does not make you ungrateful. Struggling does not make you a failure.
For once in blue we are allowed to cry, rest, make mistakes, ask for help, and admit that somethings are just too heavy.
The world may expect us to be strong because we're the first child, but that expectation is not the complete definition of who we are. We are more than our responsibilities. We have our own dreams, fears, and life to live.
When life begins to make you question yourself, remember that you are still the head and not the tail.
Being delayed does not make you the tail, being tired does not make you the tail and a difficult season does not erase your worth.
Dear firstborn, you have done well. Your sacrifices matter, even when nobody applauds them.
Take care of yourself too, you deserve rest, happiness, support, and the opportunity to pursue your own dreams.
And if you are a firstborn silently struggling, remember: you are not alone, and your story is not over.
What is one thing you wish people understood about the pressure of being the first child?
