I've always known this.
But writing my final exam in September and convoking in a month? It looked almost impossible.
I remember how joyful my coursemates were when the calendar came out for that session. Final exams in September and convocation in October. Perfect! It sounded so beautiful. At least, we wouldn't have to wait for donkey years to get our statement of results.
Before I could understand what my school had for us, my fellow graduands had swung into action, uploading their statuses daily with their plans for the convocation. Vendors massively pushed out their products.
“Get quality shoes and bags for your convocation.”
“Book us for your convocation shoots at affordable rates.”
“Get your convocation packages from our store.”
The list goes on. And yes, I was happy — happy that my prayer point was already coming to reality. I mean, who wouldn't want to graduate from the university?
A few days before the convocation, I was set and so were other graduands. Items had been purchased, photos were ready to be uploaded, and family members were set to travel. After picking my dress from a fashion house, I returned home and for the first time, the joy that had welled up within me for a long time began to dissolve. I let down the shopping bag and pulled out my plastic reading chair.
Dropping into the chair, my eyes travelled to the mirror before me and settled on the image staring back at me. Or simply say, another version of me.
“Dee, what is wrong?” The question came from my heart, but found its way out as I parted my lips.
No reply came forth. I tried again, but my head seemed bleak. However, I knew I wasn't okay and wouldn't be as far as that night was concerned.
My eyes continued to search through the layers of myself that were seemingly visible before the mirror. And when they shifted to the shopping bag, realisation struck me as lightning would strike the Earth.
A new chapter. A new beginning. That was all the unplaced emotions were for. With my head buried in my palm, I sighed slowly. Convocation, they said, was in two days. Was I ready for the life I'd always prayed for? Was I ready for life after University?
Somehow, I whispered silently that time was reversed for my sake. But I knew it was as impossible as going back to Mama's womb.
The buzzing sound of my phone pinched me back to consciousness. I didn't blink twice before pressing the power button to silence the call. Whoever it was, I didn't want to speak at that moment.
My mind continued to wander — travelling from the hectic days of lecture to cumbersome course content. Late-night study to exam tension. Even impromptu and cancelled lectures... all of those were the entirety of the undergraduate chapter.
I can't say how long I spent self-dialoguing, but by the time I would shuffle to the kitchen to fetch dinner, I had decided I would be happy regardless of the mixed emotions.
Yesterday was my convocation. Permit me to say that I was the perfect picture of a complete story — finished and fulfilled. With my face beautifully made and my white knee-length ball gown that seemed to come alive with each step I took, I beamed in the atmosphere of compliments as I elegantly graced the convocation ceremony.
Amid the rowdy environment, with gigantic speakers blaring to the point I thought I would go deaf, I found my friends seated on a row chuckling over something the speaker said. Mary. Divine. Lizzy. Hanny. And Isaac. They turned to me and endless compliments followed. I was still giggling when Isaac stood up and faced me, his weird stares wide enough to swallow me.
I had to playfully punch him back to his senses.
“Why are you staring at me this way?”
“You are beautiful. That's all,” he said with a wink.
Then like a groom ready to elope with his bride, he pulled me away from the group.
“Where are you taking me to?” I asked amid confusion.
He turned briefly and flashed me a grin.
“I've been waiting for you to come. Let's go take some photos.”
I smiled faintly, recalling that in our first year, he'd pulled me this way to go take some photos during our matriculation. Over three years ago, that was the beginning of a new chapter. Now the chapter was being closed, leaving us with final moments to make it memorable. Although, back then, as I stood alongside Isaac grinning before the camera, I had uncertainty well up in my chest. How would I scale through the undergraduate journey?
But now, with this same position, still grinning and changing posture with each shutter sound, I'm glad my good friend and I graduated as one of the best in our departments. Beyond that, the next chapter had commenced there and then — because we would be leaving the school premises as graduates.
