An old friend of mine, an economist by trade, once explained to me that the statistical definition of 'dilemma' is 49.9% in favor and 50.1% in against. If the gap is greater, there is no dilemma, because the answer is clear.
~Yiar Lapid
Every one of us might have encountered a situation, at least once in our life, when we are bound to two contrasting opinions or choices. We have two or more choices in front of us, usually two very dissimilar options. We just can't decide what's right and what's wrong. There's a part of us which compel us to accept one of the choices and there's also some part of us which persuade us for the other option. We are bound to two states and eventually one of which will be our final decision.
This state deals with logic and reasoning. Psychologist call it the cool aspects of our mind. It consists of thinking part like thought, things related to intelligence, problem solving, the rational aspects of the human mind. This is the most likely conscious state which helps us make a decision that's relevant and most often appropriate for the situation. The decision guided by this state is based on logic and reasoning and the situation we are in.
This state deals with feelings and emotions. Psychologist call it the hot aspects of our mind. This state deals with the emotions that we feel and that color our lives in terms of intensity and arousal and what matters to us. This is most likely unconscious state in a situation like decision making. It deals more with what we feel and like rather than what's necessary and what's relevant. The decision guided by this state is based on feelings and emotions and more likely what we want irrespective of the circumstances.
So, when we are in a dilemma we are guided by both head and the heart. One choice deals with logic and the other deals with our emotions.
Let's take a look into the story of my own. One very fine day, I was walking on the road. I was on the way to my friend's house. She was moving to another city and she wanted to see me before the departure. It was already getting late and she had a very little time. I was travelling alone on my scooty and the path to her house was also very rarely populated. On the way, a child stopped me. He was probably six or seven years old. He said to me that he was lost and he needed to get back to his home. I asked him if he knew the address of his home and then he replied immediately "Razar" . It was exactly the same place from where I came, it was my home town. I asked him his parents name, considering I might know. He replied, but they were unknown to me. Anyway, he requested me to take him back his home but it was the same place from where headed to my friend's. I was in a time critical scenario. If I had time, I would have taken him back to "Razar". But, I was getting late. I couldn't took him with me back to his home. If I could, I would be missing my friend. I tried to contact the police but I was out of network. I couldn't contact my friend either. I couldn't say her that I won't be coming because of the lost child who I happened to meet on the way. I searched around but it was a lonely place, no homes no people.
And thus, I was bound by two choices - leave the child or miss my friend. There were two states I was bound to, one of which was guided by head which appeals me to leave the child and see my friend, the other which is guided by heart encourages me to get the child home . I was in a dilemma what to do and what not. I had to go see my friend and I was in a very time-critical situation. I was just wasting time thinking what to do and what not. I had very strong feelings and emotions which tells me to help that needy child. He needed my help but I was bound to my situations. Finally and eventually, I came to a conclusion that I will go to my friend's and also I will take that child with me. I did the same and explained it to my friends. She was happy for what I had done. After the departure, I took him with me and helped him find his way to home. I was in such a time critical scenario that I couldn't think of taking him with me to my friend's house.
So, let's come to a conclusion. The dilemma in decision making is always caused by the two states that we are bound to. Finally, we shall come to a conclusion that best fits the circumstances. It is always productive to follow logic and not the emotions. The head always decides the best fit because it's all in all superior to the heart.
Einstein says "if your head tells you one thing and your heart tells you another, before you do anything decide first whether you have a better head or the better heart"
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