“You know, Upgrade Papa's voice is kinda rough when he is getting calls from dumb people, but him giggling is one of the most beautiful things ever, I mean, if something that deep can be called a giggle.”
Ten-year-old Glendella Ludlow was talking with Mrs. Thalia Ludlow, also known as Good Grandma, about Capt. R.E. Ludlow, also known as Upgrade Papa, who was having a long, gentle laugh at the argument nine-year-old George and five-year-old R.E. Ludlow III, also known as Lil' Robert, were having about beans and space travel.
“But the thing is, they won't taste good that way!” Lil' Robert was saying at that point after George explained what to do about the high cost of rocket fuel.
“Yeah, but think about it, Rob: getting to another galaxy is hard work, and the most cost effective way is just to maximize the gas potential on every bean!”
“I don't care about the gas potential! I'm interested in the taste potential – maximize that, George!”
And this is why Capt. Ludlow was laughing at his two little grandsons, especially at the way George's attempts at big impressive vocabulary were picked up and thrown right back by the baby brother who was figuring out what the words meant through context clues as he went.
“Rob does have a bigger working vocabulary than anyone but Grayson,” Glendella said, “and they are the two youngest!”
“Rob talks the most and Grayson listens the most and studies the most, so, yeah,” Mrs. Ludlow said. “Their brains are growing faster for language because of that.”
“OK, but, listen: if we can just get to the moon we've got it made, because the moon is made of cheese,” George was saying, “and you know what happens if you put a cheese and bean burrito together, so, we're set to launch to anywhere from there – but we just gotta make sacrifices until we get there.”
“You go sacrifice something else – nobody is stopping me from getting to Grandma's delicious bean dip!” Lil' Robert said. “How are you just going to eat the beans before Grandma finishes soaking them and mess that up, George?”
“The problem, Rob, is that you soak beans to get the gassiness out, so, what we need to do is eat them with the gas still in there in order to get to liftoff!”
“Oh no,” Glendella said as Capt. Ludlow's laughter got notably louder.
“No!” Lil' Robert said. “You want us to eat beans that are cold, with no seasoning, no cooking, no Grandma love? No!”
“But Rob, the galaxy is at stake! We need to get to the aliens and let them know we are their friends before they get to us!”
“No, because all you gotta do is just leave the beans alone and have them taste after Grandma does her thing, George. You just gotta leave the beans alone and let her do her thing!”
“But how am I supposed to get liftoff, Rob?”
“Blow up a bunch of balloons, stick them on your butt with duct tape, and then once you get aimed, let 'em go – duh, George! Duh!”
“Oh yeah, Rob – why didn't I think of that?”
“I think Papa just fell out!” Glendella said.
“And if he hasn't, he's going to,” Mrs. Ludlow said with a smile as George came smiling from the yard.
“Hey, Papa! I just need about 100 balloons and I've got this space travel thing knocked and we can still have bean dip – actually, wait a minute – hey, Rob, do you think that we can get Grandma to go with us, because if the moon is made of cheese, she could really do some queso dip there to go on the burritos we need to get to the rest of the galaxy.”
