Loving you terrifies me.
At least that's what I felt ever since. Ever since I found myself badly smitten at you.
One afternoon about a few years ago, I was walking to a nearby store, and I passed by you and your friends. You were under the shade of a mango tree, but some naughty sun rays managed to touch your face. You were smiling so brightly, it was contagious. I found myself smiling, too.
I was a shy girl. I don't go out much, so most of the people in our place don't know me. I was half expecting you also don't know who I am, but boy I was wrong.
You waved at me. You turned around and caught me smiling while looking at you.
You waved at me and shouted my name. I blushed and covered my face with my umbrella. I almost ran. You made my heart skip a bit.
Not once.
Not twice.
But a couple of thousand times.
When your hair was blown by the wind and it was disheveled, it only made you look even better. When I see your smirk. Your deep set eyes. Your facial lines. Your worn out jeans. When I witness all the beauty you could ever hold, it takes me away.
I fell so deep in your ravine. I couldn't save myself.
It scares the hell out of me.
Who was I to you? No one. Maybe you knew my name because of some mutual friends but I'm still no one to you. No one and it's terrifying.
I knew you ever since we were little. I'd look at you from a distance, and I let myself be content with that. But as I peel off every leaf of the calendar I want to be more than that.
I want to touch your face. I want to intertwine our fingers together. I want to hear you breathe. I want to smell your hair and let you hug me from behind. I want to feel your heart beating against my ears.
I want something that can make me say you are real. That you are not just a figment of my imagination.
I want to say you are mine and that I'm yours. I want to be in your life but who am I to you?
No one.
Who are you to me?
You are every little thing I wanted, but it sucks because I only get to see you at the other side of the road.
I was a shy girl. I still am. And I was too scared to talk to you. I still am. #
