There was a guy i went to school with who seemed to hit every milestone before me. Job, car, relationship, apartment. Every time i checked his page something new had landed for him and i would close the app feeling vaguely hollow about my own life, which had not changed since the last time i checked.
I was not even unhappy with my life before i opened the app. That is what i kept noticing. I would be perfectly fine and then ten minutes of scrolling would leave me feeling like i was behind in a race i had not even agreed to run.
Comparison does that quietly. It takes what you have and makes it feel insufficient not because anything actually changed but because you just saw someone else's version side by side with yours. And it is never a fair comparison because you are always looking at their outside against your inside. Their highlight against your full unedited story.
The guy from school whose life looked perfect from every angle told me over drinks one evening that he had been deeply unhappy for most of that period. The job was draining him. The relationship was already quietly falling apart. The car was bought to impress people he did not even particularly like.
Everything that looked like winning from the outside was something else entirely from where he was standing.
I am not saying everyone's success is secretly miserable underneath. Some people are genuinely doing well and good for them. But what i am saying is that what you are measuring yourself against is almost never the full picture. You are competing with a performance, not a reality.
The time you spend measuring your life against someone else's is time you are not spending actually building what you want. And that time does not come back.
Your life deserves your full attention. Not the leftover focus after you finish comparing it to everyone else's.
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