You don't have to read this, I'm just venting crap happening in my life right now. For the past 5 hours I've been rolling on my bed and couldn't get to sleep. Even with my eyes closed, my mind has been thinking all kind of work stuff. So bad to an extend I have numbers running in my mind. Dude, it's not counting sheep, it's literally trying on different formula in my mind on how to keep my job and not being humiliate.
I know it's an excuse, and I should not be negative. I can't help it but to keep thinking of the work stuff and the bullies going on. I have never felt being humiliate this bad to an extend I felt like I'm worthless. Imagine being one of the senior staff in the company, being called out incompetent Infront of all the colleagues. Not only that, they proceed to drop an email and send me more task that is ridiculous to achieve in the shortest time, and mention in the meeting minutes as I volunteer committing those tasks. I just can't help it but to think what is going to happen next week when the dateline is up.
I knew my alarm clock is gonna set off shortly, I turned it off before it started blaring, quietly walk off the room. Knowing the other half need more rest than me. Probably disturbed by me rolling left and right on the bed. Really don't know what to do anymore. Kids will have to wake up in an hour, and I'm sitting here alone at my living room. I'm not sure if I'm depressed, but am not motivated to go to work. I couldn't find the happy side of me to present to you right now as I don't feel like my usual self, due to the harsh working environment.