FORGETFUL DAD
My wife is so negative. I remembered the car seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag.
Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.
AWARD-WINNING
Q. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
A. Because he was outstanding in his field.
CHEESY
Q. Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France?
A. There was nothing left but de Brie.
I DO
Q. Our wedding was so beautiful …
A. Even the cake was in tiers.
LUNCH FOOD
Q. I hate jokes about German sausages.
A. They’re the wurst.
CHANGING OF THE SEASONS
Q. Can February March?
A. No, but April May
OCEAN WAVING
Q. What did the ocean say to the sailboat?
A. Nothing, it just waved.