Not by what you say about yourself. By what you no longer do.
An unhealed person loves from lack. Needs to be rescued or needs to rescue, because otherwise they don't know what to do with the relationship. They test. Check the phone, the time, the tone of voice. Punish with silence when they don't get what they wanted. Need constant reassurance, because there's no certainty inside.
A healed person doesn't need any of that. Not because they're perfect, but because they've faced their wounds closely enough that those wounds no longer drive the relationship without them noticing. They know where the fear comes from, and they don't send the bill to the other person.
You see it in the small things. They can say what they feel without turning it into an attack. They can set a boundary without stopping to care. They don't run when it gets hard, and they don't stay just to avoid being alone. They don't need power over the other person, because their worth stopped depending on how much the other proves it.
Conflict doesn't scare them. They know how to come back to a normal tone after a fight, without turning it into punishment. And you won't see it in grand gestures. You'll see it in how it feels to breathe next to them on an ordinary Tuesday.
Nobody has to fight for space next to a person like that. You just get to be.
Do you actually believe healing looks like this, or is this list just another performance of it.
