Emotions are feelings that comes from situations and circumstances irrespective of logical reasons. They are too personal to us that they precede logic. When they are negative emotions, it can be very destructive when not kept in check. When it comes to anger, we use it as a way to communicate our negative emotions to the other person. We can be angry because we feel disrespected, disregarded, envious, jealous or irritated.
When ask how we are feeling, we just normally say “I’m angry” without stating the real reason behind the anger. As much as we’d want to express our feelings and emotions and not bottle it in, it’s of utmost importance, to, within ourselves, identify the reason behind it.
“I’m angry because I feel disrespected”
“I’m angry because I expected a better treatment from the other person”
The mind is a multiplier, when it’s floating on negative energy.
***For instance.
Bayo and Mary have been in a good and lovely relationship for more than 3 months and it look like a match made from heaven.
On this particular day, Bayo randomly requested for Mary’s phone and she rejected.
Bayo was somewhat angry but didn’t show it and Mary on the other hand didn’t really thought it was enough to make Bayo angry. Bayo let his negative emotions float without checking it, now he notice that Mary is mostly on her phone, whenever he is with her. This makes him, suspects Mary to be hiding something from him.
This is something he hasn’t notice in the last 3 months prior to the 1st incident. Now he is somehow mean and less committed to Mary.
Not only that, he now wishes Mary was a little bit taller as he’d have wished to have a tall girlfriend. Suddenly
Love is no longer blind in their case. Within the next 2 weeks, the beautiful relationship now has some ugliness in it.
Mary doesn’t seems to understand Bayo again.
Bayo looks at Mary and he is irritated. He can’t even believe he once loved someone like this.
Now the relationship is on the downward side. This is just one of many sample of relationship which angry not kept in check, has ruined.**
When we are angry, it’s important for us to take a step in identifying the cause of that anger.
This helps to foster a good interpersonal relationship with the other person. If we don’t do this, we brings a compound problem to us as we would want to satisfy our ego and also justify our anger.
We look for other components to make us stay angry and in a short moment, w don’t even remember what made us angry in the first place. We just know we are angry at the other person and we think it’s justified.
Identifying the reason for your anger, will foster a working interpersonal relationship with people around you. When we stay true to the cogent reason for getting angry, we have made the negative emotion powerless and rendered it void.
This will also make us realise that our feelings and emotions is more about our own ego and not actually what the other person did.
