I want to share a dynamic aspect of my perspective. Dynamic meaning that it evolves to incorporate new experiences and information over time. I am referring to my beliefs about religion, spirituality, death, the unexplainable- all those grand concepts that boggle our brains. Well, I'll just speak for myself. They definitely blow my mind.
I was raised by two Dead Head hippies, each of whom had themselves been raised by strict Catholics. Neither of my parents incorporated Catholicism into their beliefs, although my mom loves the singing and tradition of church on holidays. My brother and I grew up without organized religion in our home, much to the chagrin of our grandparents. We saw Mom meditate and heard Dad report scientific findings.
My first "real" boyfriend was a guy I dated in middle school. His family members were devout Christians, attending Sunday service and sending both their kids to weekly Youth Group. They graciously brought me into this part of their lives. I loved that this church involved casual clothes and acoustic guitars; I had always felt intimidated by organ music and enormous stained glass. I was comforted by this community that seemed genuinely interested in serving its members. For a while, I identified myself as one of them.
the aforementioned boyfriend
In high school, I made more friends who had been raised in Christian households. One of my closest gal pals roped me in to attending a sleep away camp hosted by a Christian youth organization. There was joy to be had that week, and also so much poignancy. We raced down zip lines and played Marco Polo in a mountain lake. We sat around camp fires and talked about past challenges and current insecurities. Many of us cried. I formed an association between raw sharing and people of the church, and felt more at home in this religion than before.
Woodleaf Camp, post muddy adventure course
Throughout this time, I attended guided meditations and yoga classes. I had long conversations about Buddhism, karma, and Eastern medicine practices. One of my best friends joined the Mormon church. All of this to say that my inputs were varied and often conflicting. I am grateful for this discord because it challenged me to question, and to be comfortable with the unknown.
wise words from this graffiti dude
This encompasses the core of my currently held beliefs. I consider myself to be agnostic, and try to remain open to all possibilities. I am humbled by the immensity of the things we don't know, and derive a sense of wonder from this. I am okay with unanswered questions- whatever it is that's given us this beautiful life, I'm grateful. Whether it is some greater force or merely an unstoppable course of entropy, I'll take it. I'll ponder new pieces of empirical data and appreciate each miracle. I'll journey closer to understanding the big questions without expecting a direct answer.
