Preguntas no expresadas.

I have a thousand and one questions in my head. "Where are you now?" is one of them. "Have I been over your head recently?". "In general, are you happy now?". I know you told me that you were fine without me. But that's not necessarily happy, is it? That day, you were laughing with your friends while ignoring me; were you trying to prove something to me?

Tengo mil y un preguntas en mi cabeza.
“¿Dónde estás ahora?”,
es una de ellas.
“¿He pasado por tu cabeza
recientemente?”.
“En general, ¿eres feliz ahora?”.
Sé que me dijiste
que estabas bien sin mí.
Pero eso no necesariamente es feliz, ¿o sí?
Ese día, reías con tus amigos
mientras me ignorabas;
¿intentabas demostrarme algo?

I know you wanted me away,
I know you were trying to get rid of me
by all means.
I never congratulated you for succeeding.
And, frankly, you deserve congratulations.
I would never have left
of my own free will.

Sé que me querías lejos,
sé que intentabas librarte de mí
por todos los medios.
Nunca te felicité por haberlo logrado.
Y, francamente, mereces que te felicite.
Yo jamás me hubiera ido
por mi propia voluntad.

Not even when you embarrassed me
in public on a regular basis.
Not even when you got angry
if I looked at you for more than a couple of seconds.
Not even when you pushed me
in the moments when I sought to
to touch your shoulder.
I just longed for a little support.
But it doesn't matter anymore.

Ni siquiera cuando me avergonzabas
en público habitualmente.
Ni siquiera cuando te enojabas
si te miraba más de un par de segundos.
Ni siquiera cuando me empujabas
en los momentos en que buscaba
tocar tu hombro.
Solo anhelaba un poco de apoyo.
Pero ya no importa.

I have so many questions in my head.
It's overwhelming. I've been trying so hard not to
think about you, with all my might.
And in my effort to suppress,
gone are other important memories
that I wanted to keep.

Tengo tantas preguntas en mi cabeza.
Es abrumador. He tratado de no
pensar en ti, con todas mis fuerzas.
Y en mi esfuerzo de suprimir,
se han ido otros recuerdos importantes
que quería conservar.

But that's the mind, I guess.
I can't just force myself to
erase you from my memories as if
you never happened.
It doesn't work that way.

Pero así es la mente, supongo.
No puedo simplemente obligarme a
borrarte de mis recuerdos como si
nunca hubieras pasado.
Así no funciona.

I have a question in my head:
did you ever love me?
I know you've told me so many times...
so much, that one day you blurted out:
"We should stop saying it...
Replace it with something less intense. We can say it to each other now: 'I like you'.".

Tengo una pregunta en mi cabeza:
¿alguna vez me amaste?
Sé que me lo dijiste un sin fin de veces…
tanto, que un día soltaste:
"Deberíamos de dejar decirlo…
Reemplazarlo por algo menos intenso. Podemos decirnos ahora: 'Me agradas'.".

Now, in retrospect,
I think you were trying
to make getting away from me as progressive as possible,
to hurt me less, maybe.
Today, you should know that I will never ask you any questions.
Even if I have a thousand and one opportunities to ask them.
Because the time that has passed has rendered all my questions useless.
Anyway, it probably doesn't matter anymore whether I answer them or not.
Because you will never be in my life again.

Ahora, en retrospectiva,
creo que estabas intentando
que el alejarte de mí fuera lo más progresivo posible,
que me doliera menos, quizá.
Hoy en día, deberías saber que jamás te haré ninguna pregunta.
Aunque tenga mil y una oportunidades para hacerlas.
Porque el tiempo que ha pasado ha vuelto inútiles todas mis interrogantes.
De todos modos, probablemente ya no importa si las respondo o no.
Porque no volverás a estar en mi vida.

![Identification.jpg](

_{This text was translated from Deepl.
The cover image was taken from www.pexels.com.
All the images were edited in App Lumii.
The text is my own.}