The feeling when everyone sees you as a failed person, living this of life is really very disgusting and humiliating. I am really stuck between the situation about leaving all this behind and moving forward or staying and tolerating all this shit. I just feel like what am i been with, wanting to go far away from this situation. Before beginning today's topic i will be telling the situation which happened with me which made me write about such a topic. Currently my examination happened and after sharing my marks with my parents they just humiliated me well enough though it was unbearable but exception is that they don't understand the thing of trying well and better but the stuck that you are a loser.
Everyone understands the means of being called a loser, i guess, exceptionally when your own parents say it. The unbearable insult when goes till your throat you just expel it out inform of your tears. Just sitting in a room crying and seeing the whole world changing but when you see the progress and achievements of others you feel pity on yourself. Seeing yourself stuck between the baddest situation of your parents on you.
Just for a few marks i guess they have humiliated me with every damn thing they could do with... Just saying out that what all sacrifices they give and all the damn things but don't see their own child struggling each and every single day by living with them. The exception is that you can't leave them because you need a place to settle after getting birth and that's the advantage they take because till the time you are not something you are nothing for them.
The problem with the Indian parents is that they do not let their children live a good lifestyle till the time you are grown up they just feel like they are protecting their children but exception is that they are overpowering them. They don't let you know the world and stop you from every damn thing but don't know the importance of knowledge around the world about which there children will regret of not getting it on a right time...
When you have strict parents they feel like they have groomed one of the best children but in fact have groomed one of the biggest liars. You really feel so bad when you fail as a daughter as per your parents mindset. You really feel so bad when they enlist you the things which they bought you or made you ate or shop or visit, which is called a reality check. To make you learn that if someone will get you something they have the right to insult you.
The only response by me on my failure was going silent because i won't speak for myself they shall consider it that as if i am overstepping. As i move on in my life every year i go with carrying a huge burden of loads in my mind and heart for sure which are carried all alone though given by thousands of people in society and my own family but still bearing all this is the part of my life i guess.
The time when you realise that you are not a carrier of all these loads the society kicks you away it may also include your parents. I am not specifically pointing everybody's parents but telling the situation of mine and all the things i am going through every parent do have a different approach, lifestyle and way of thinking it might to a good one, mid the ok ok one and the one's who present their worst and i am got the worst one.
I feel so empty on my emotional front whenever i see people with their happy family and grooming their child in the most sweetest manner and when i remember all what my parents did with me i just feel so bad and pitty of myself that am i born for this purpose, bearing all the insult and humiliation and when ask or wish of getting something good always get the worst.
Hoping of getting out of this situation soon because somethings can be beared for a short period of time but not for life time when you still have the time and power to change them...
I read it somewhere it says
Accept the thing which you can't change, or change the thing which you can't accept.
So implementing the same theory i shall be moving on in my life with a deep great thinking on the things which i can't accept and how to change them because nothing happens in a one day but it will happen one day...
So by saying all the following i have just concluded my post though not a good topic which made me happy but a topic which can made me to think for a change.
And here's the ending...
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