I just watched on youtube the following video and wanted to make write it down with a few thoughts:
Most people would probably find just a few points that would really represent a struggle for them:
Perfectionism:
often looking for the perfect moment, the perfect situation, and the perfect chain of events might lead to either never doing what you want (and I'm not only talking about work, but anything, or any project you truly care about), or just being so obsessed with perfection than getting over and over into it without being able to really move forward. This point I think links to other ones, like the number 7. Me for example, I often don't start something, it may be a trip or a project, because it doesn't feel like the perfect moment for it . But as you begin letting go of the expectation, and go with the flow, somehow things begin to unfold, and you create that project more perfect. and by the way, how beautyful, unexpected and human is imperfection, between nothingness and perfection is the beauty of human Chaos.
Comparing:
It can often happen that comparing leaves you insecure or intimidated, but also, when continuing comparing other people not to you, but to someone you know, you could close their spontaneity in a cage. By comparing all the time yourself with others, also stops your focus from what you are doing, and enjoy your victories.
I personally think that instead of comparing to others, we should take Inspiration from them, ask for tips, and often enough ask ourselves if we are only racing in a game that is not ours for the sake of arriving at the top or if we really care about what we are doing, and can be happy for others' success
Procrastination:
we often get stuck in distractions, without really getting things done. Here comes the Great Power of Habit! Personally this for me has been of great help lately. I read the book Atomic Habits, which I recommend , and it states how habits on the long run make you feel much less friction, and big projects and sport achievements are reached with continuous but consistent repetition of tasks. As a freelancer DIgital Nomad , for quite some years I have had long periods of my life in which I never had a routine, never a day like the other. Now that I would also want to set up my own businesses for example , it would be of great help to just dedicate 3 hours of work per day for example. This has always been my goal, now that is reached, sometimes I work even less, but I think it is a good Idea to keep the schedule to Work on something , to feel productive, whatever it may be. The body and mind will just get used to it, and it will be less of a hassle, with less procrastination and good focus.
I personally think it is important in some periods of one's life to also break from All the habits, which bring unconscious mental processes, and thought patterns. just to break free, see life from a different perspective. It is all indeed a matter of balance between chaos and order.
Multitasking:
Real life multitasking, is almost impossible, to completely focus on one task is the best to do it , often enough we find ourselves thinking we are multitasking, but in reality we are just shifting our attention from one thing to the next . but getting focused and in the flow of one matter, already takes time, and each time we shift focus, we just keep slowing down the flow process.
Allowing distractions:
Being in environments with easy distractions, can let the mind wander and loose the focus. Keeping the phone in silence mode, using earplugs, or concentration music (without lyrics) can help to keep the focus. There are also other apps, like Ilys https://www.ilys.com , which help to keep the flow by neutralizing all distractions, and perfectionism out of the way.
Saying yes:
Saying yes to everybody who asks sometimes can take out too much of your time, letting you stay with just a fraction of the time to do (and sometimes to just not do ) As much as I think it is important to say yes, and to help others, and family members, sometimes can be overwhelming, and you may just need some time out, time for yourself, or to do your own things, otherwise it can get destructive. Here again it is a matter of balance. Beware of the time you need, and howmuch of your time you can dedicate to others: it can be helpful to draw the boundaries, either to have a time that is only going to be only for your things, and a window of time dedicated to helping others and saying yes. Not only you'll be able to do things for others or with others with more pleasure, but would also make you feel more accomplished
INDECISIVENESS
Being confident in your decisions, takes practice, and is related to most of the points above.
Being indecisive for perfectionism: doubtinig each choice to be the real best one, and staying anchored to the "what if".
Indecision because of Comparison: Comparing endlessly all the alternative solutions, trying to calculate all the possible outcomes of each. Being too precise is though impossible and you risk to get in a loop of variables and thoughts by comparing all possible solutions.
As for procrastination always postponing the decision sometimes looks inevitable, but the key should be to put a specific deadline to it, longer or shorter depending on the kind of decision to write pros and cons, and if time runs out, just go with your guts. "By giving yourself a rigid deadline you can stop yourself from standing your own way" as the video says.
This one I find it the hardest, but indeed it is also a matter of practice, of letting go, and it is really linked to perfectionism, control, and a few of the points written above. as for this matter I even read the book : " The Paradox of Choice" by Barry Schwarz. It divides people into Maximizers, who always try to get the best possible solution, but on the way you need to keep in count the effort and time that costs to make it, which often makes more weight than the decision itself. While Satisficers are content with a choice and don't look back. While I'm Happy that some for some big choices I've been a Maximizer, being a Satisficer can be really helpful for the small things, and also to go a bit more in between when feeling totally stuck with big decisions, the important is not to have an "Analysis Paralizis".
Give yourself a deadline, once you have taken a decision, don't look back. And be aware of what you are deciding between, since there may also be no choice to make .
Mindless work:
This one wasn't in the video, but I'll add it : mindfulness. Often we get stuck in what we think we want, without really caring so much.
I often find myself and others, working on a job, and saving for no real end goal . I wrote many years ago: be aware of Why you Want money , or whatever it is, and then go get it, make whatever you are doing part of that goal, part of that direction. For me has often been, finding a place I can call home, a community of likeminded people, helping , inspiring each other, and come up with a creative hub in the countryside with families and friends to do sport and make a little positive change in the world, sharing, celebrating , relaxing in nature, with music. I might have found the area I want to live, some of the people, but often I get scared, or I think I have to get a normal job, settle down. Spontaneusly I'll pass more of the time that I got left on this earth on a specific place I'll feel more rooted: I'm noticing a shift with the age, with the periods of life, like seasons and cycles, everything might come to a balance. adventure and tranquility, family and wilderness. We change, our goals change, once we reach them we can settle new ones. Naturally spontaneusly, hopefully we'll just come to the point of having lived enough, without regrets, without any more desires: but that time is still far away. It is not easy to know what we really want in a precise moment of our lives, with so many voices in and out our heads pulling to different directions. But maybe it is easy, and all we gotta do cancelling our limitng beliefs, and embracing empowering ones. Not always alone, helping each other, because what we get we'll want to give. It is nature, we just need to try to flow and dare. when mindfulness can enter in a conscious dream , it can enter in real life, and vice versa. They are similar. Let's just be aware, but able to rest. Like winter, we need to look within, and give voice to our inner voice and worlds with our eyes closed.
