This make-up look done by me has a very good title :the battlefield. I wanted to depict the state in which most of us find ourselves to be when we deal with our own emotions, when we deal with people. Especially our loved ones.
There is always a struggle in admitting our emotional wounds. I had a very interesting talk with a client yesterday and she told me about a great book about childhood wounds and after I googled a little and read some excerpts I was amazed. I plan to buy this book, I have (sadly) found myself in one of those 5 types of people. I am sure you will too ( the book is by Lise Bourbeau and it's titled Ego. The greatest obstacle in healing the 5 wounds. In my native language Cele cinci rani care ne impiedica sa fim noi insine). There are basically 5 type of wounds =5 types of masks which we wear pretending to be what we are not as a defense mechanism in front of the wound. Amazing.
We are torn when we want to reveal our true self and this inner battle turns our relationships into battlefields. We fight for power, control, validation and we fail to admit to ourselves our issues. We avoid talking with our parents about stuff and we bottle it up. You see, our feelings of hatred, anger, almost always come from the bad dynamics of relationships with our parents. Of course that having a hard talk as an adult with your parent can be terrifying, but it's necessary in order to release yourself from all the anguish and stop being what you're not just to make mom or dad happy. We are adults, our body grows, but our inner child often remains trapped due to childhood trauma.
Often a traumatised parent will traumatize their children too without even realising, perpetuating a toxic environment lasting through generations. It took me 20 years since my parents divorced to finally make the courage to ask my mother uncomfortable questions. Calmly. Parents are not saints and they should be questioned for their wrong doings. Dad's next lol. Grandma as well.
It was liberating to finally hear apologies. I have been waiting 20 years for them! 20 years! It is too personal to reveal more, but I must tell you that things must be confronted, that issues have to be talked through. Things won't change if you don't change. Asking for an apology won't guarantee you that you'll receive it, but at least you've let your parent know they did a mistake and they better try to repair it. Somehow.
A battlefield can turn into a peaceful territory once you start to question yourself why you are how you are and stop blaming others. Answers and solutions come only after introspection and active behaviors towards changing the status quo. Few adults have the courage to go so deep inside. Sadly, too many pass on the battlefield to their children instead of healing themselves for the sake of future generations. Not all people are ready to take off their masks. Not all are ready to breathe the air of peace. I am sure that those who will manage to do the opposite of what they would normally do will alter the course of their life forever. From a battlefield to a comfortable place called "I have the right to be how I want to be".
Have a delightful day and toodle loo!
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