I have often found it challenging for me to express the way I feel. Especially when I suffer or I feel something has upset me greatly. Being used to bottle it up, like Coca Cola does to their drinks, it was a recipe for disaster in my youth. I gradually learned to show how I feel in more indirect ways. Being more explicit and sometimes calling things out how they were. Guess what... It was not easier then either. Some people can't take well honesty and it might backfire.
Although I am a typical apparently cold and detached Aquarius woman, I put a big value on emotions. I feel things more intense than I show. Being like this, I always searched this quality in people. In partners. Being able to cope with me expressing how I feel, especially the unpleasant version.
Unfortunately not all people react well. I hate it the most when people fail to appreciate the effort behind serving them up a big fat juicy portion of real emotions. Well, this is how you made me feel, so take it in and hold responsability. I find this to be the most mature way of reacting when you are being told you hurt someone.
I think expressing emotions clears the dried flowers from your garden and makes room for new blooming. I disagree with relationship dynamics where you end up being scared to tell your emotions, where you get ridiculed or when you are told you are wrong and pushed to a corner. I think that people who repress emotions and act cold, like never ever happened, only manage to inflict more wounds.To others and to themselves.
I am very happy with my inner garden of flowers now. I am still learning to defend myself and my emotions in front of those who dismiss them. I am still learning to keep the right flowers and to remove the ones that already dried. I am still learning to deal with the beauty of being imperfect and accepting some might be blind to my inner beauty. I am learning that, like all flowers, I am unique and I deserve to be loved with my emotions too. And people... This is very very ok馃槉鉂わ笍
Have a pleasant day and toodle loo!
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