think on these things....

We all have dark moments during our days — things that we don't want to feel or situations we don't want to experience. Our life backpacks are usually full of burdens and we end up taking them out to look them over from time to time which makes the burden heavier.

A lot of people would say the solution is to think positive thoughts instead and reject the negativity, or to learn to be grateful and not harp on the awful.

These are good exercises but they don't necessarily shrink the weight of the burdens or tough times we are going through. They don't deal with the acceptance of suffering. Many believe that suffering is not necessary.

We can't escape suffering but we can change our compulsion to obsess or nurse it.

Personally I have a difficult time understanding the practice of gratitude. I'm not sure why as I am thankful in the moment but not when I have to do it on purpose — it feels disingenuous. Also, I am not a huge advocate of reciting affirmations, they too don't sit right with me.

There is something in the word gratitude and positivity that just grates on me. One day I'll figure it out but for now, I'll just accept it and move on.

I like the word lovely. I started using it a few years ago after my sister gave birth to her first son and I told her he was lovely. I had never used the word before and it stuck with me. I gave it thought and realized it was a great word to describe things I found joy in or appreciated.

Instead of writing a list of what I am grateful for or sticky notes of affirmations on my fridge or mirror, I decided I would make a lovely thoughts book.

I used a black sharpie pen and lettered the words on the cover.

In my book I write things that I thought were lovely that day. If I can't think of anything, I don't write anything. I don't force myself to have to write something down for the sake of feeling better that I did. I was looking to be genuine and real to myself.

How this practice helps through times of suffering or hardship.

• it gently pulls my mind to remember a part of my day that stuck out even if my heart was breaking
• it provides a written reminder for those days when I can't make myself think about anything "good"
• it reminds me that life is both lovely and difficult

Here are some words and ideas to help you get started with your own lovely or good things book.

Fix your mind on these things

— things that are —

true, pure, authentic
honest, noble
just, right
lovely, lovable,
beautiful not ugly
the best, not the worst
good news
kind and gracious
appreciative not cause to complain

...whatever things are true, whatever things are honest, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue, and if there is any praise... think about such things.
(Phillippians 4:8)

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