He knew it before it happened, that brief stillness, the kind that comes right before something unwanted arrives. Something eerie.
Akaza closed his eyes, hoping for silence, but it didn’t come. No sleep for him. He lay in bed. A sound followed, not loud, not soft, just enough to be noticed. A knock on the door. At this time? Who could be there? Oh no. This kid wants me to die.
He is here again. It’s dark. Does he know anything? Is this how my day is going to end, arguing again? Do I skip over it, start fresh? Everything stays in the back of my mind. It would be better if I were like him, do and forget.
I’ve been stuck here for a while. The joints hurt, and they’ve been hurting longer than I admitted. I ignored it until I couldn’t. I smell so bad. No, the room smells. How much time have I spent lying here? It’s cold. Oh. The knock. I forgot.
Will he think ill of me, seeing me like this? He’s at my door, though. I don’t care as much as I should. What is this feeling? I’ll just say I don’t need him to come. I am fine and doing well. But what have I been up to? I don’t have to be honest, not to him. It’s better this way. He’ll use it against me.
He sounds so smug. I hate him. He comes here like nothing happened. I wouldn’t say anything. But I remember, and I will never forget.
I am coming...oh, no. I can't speak. No breath. How much times has it been?
I don't know.
Oh. I can’t move. I don’t feel anything anymore, no weight, no hands, no floor. Oh my god. I can still see. That’s the door. It’s right there. No. No, no, no. I don’t want to die, not like this, not here. He’s here. I have to get up. I have to.
👍"Here I opened wide the door:-Darkness there, and nothing more." - Edgar Allan poe👍
I smell something. That’s all I can do, smell. It’s thick. Familiar. Is that me? Knock. Again. My body doesn’t listen. It won’t get up. It won’t answer. The knock doesn’t stop.
I can yell. He’ll help me. Kenji, Kenji. Do you hear me? I can’t get up. Help me. Oh god, it’s muffled. He can’t hear me. I am not dead. I can see. I have to wait. He’ll be here. He’ll know. My brother, I am sorry. At least let me see him. I want to see him. Oh, my heart. Get up. Get up.
Get up. Get up. The knock waits. I wait. Nothing moves but the shadows. Nothing answers but my own breath.
You were missing for hours, Kenji. You were so small, such a little boy. I kept looking for you. I don’t remember at all. I was wandering, asking everyone, searching, but I had nothing, no details of you. I persisted. Oh, Kenji.
I yelled at you. You were scared. I still yelled at you. You were there, sitting, minding your business. I was so afraid.
Oh, he is there… no, I don’t want to see… oh god, take me. I can’t close my eyes. He is beside me, crying. I don’t want him like this. Yell at me. I left you. Be mad. What have I done?
My little brother... I don't know for how much time I have waited...laying here.
👍Tell me every terrible thing you ever did, and let me love you anyway." - Edgar Allan poe👍
"There are tears in your eyes."
“Oh my brother, sorry, my brother… I killed you.”
Kenji sobs.
"You didn't"
Nothing moves but the shadows. Nothing answers.
Silence.
